Platonic Love
by Kilmeny
Summary: Duo and Hilde both date other people, but when it all comes down to it, will they realize they truly love each other? And what happens if only one of them realizes it? Complete!
1. Default Chapter

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Platonic Love – Prologue – War Is Over

By Kilmeny

Disclaimers: _Gundam Wing_ belongs to Sunrise. Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them. This story is not being used to make a profit.

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Summary: The series of postwar events in the lives of Duo and Hilde that lead them to question their platonic relationship. They both date other people, but when it all comes down to it, will they realize they truly love each other? And what happens if only one of them realizes it?

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Rating: PG for a few cuss words, nothing worse than the actual show.

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Dedicated to: Everyone who reviewed my first two fanfics "Trust in Me" and "I Don't Understand Love." You guys don't know how much it meant to me! I really appreciated all of your comments. It encouraged me to keep on writing, and that's why this story is here now. I hope this story lives up to all your expectations of my writing skill. I'm so afraid it won't! But, anyway, thanks again.

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Author's Notes for the Whole Story: I edited and replaced this prologue and chapter one, so you might want to reread them. There are some pretty significant changes. I'm still putting songs and quotes in this story. Skip the songs if you want; they're just my way of getting motivated and inspired, so I like to give them credit by actually putting them in the story. This is not a songfic. Please don't let the presence of the lyrics (only placed at the end of breaks, not within the text) stop you from reading this story. The prologue picks up right after the last _Gundam Wing_ episode, before _Endless Waltz_, and then the first chapter starts a year after _Endless Waltz_. I don't think it's too confusing, but just so you all know. Within my planned Gundam pilot stories—"Trust in Me" timeline, this actually comes before Trowa's story. You do not need to read "Trust in Me" to get this. All of my stories can be read separately. This probably will only be about half as long as "Trust in Me," simply because the plot isn't nearly as complex as Trowa's. Sorry if you wanted it to be longer. I don't know yet, though, we'll see. I hope you all enjoy it. And, blatant self-advertising, please read and review my other fics! Thank you. 

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Prologue – War Is Over

Duo Maxwell's quick stride took him straight to his destination, Hilde Schbeiker's hospital room. There was nothing to keep him from going to her now. The war was over, and he had every intention of spending as much of his time as necessary making sure Hilde recovered. As he came near her room, his steps slowed, and he quietly moved to stand in the doorway. The sight of Hilde, tubes attached, bandages abundant, put a tormenting ache in his chest, but it wasn't unfamiliar. He had encountered this pain since childhood, every time he had seen a loved one lying cold and dead on the ground. It was a mixture of guilt, grief, and hopelessness. Only this time, he knew that she lived and would continue to live. He'd heard it straight from the doctor Sally Po, and that hope was the only thing keeping him steady right now.

He made himself take a few calm breaths before seating himself next to her. She was so small, so fragile; she was amazing. At the same time that he grasped her hand, he tried to grasp the thought that this same person had only days ago given him that disk from the Libra. She had so much courage, so much determination and intelligence, and she had done what she could with it. If only she would wake up now, then he would no longer be angry. For it was true, even though he was grateful that she lived and was awed by her bravery, anger was still the dominant emotion churning inside of him. 

From the moment he had heard her call to him from her mobile suit, he had forced his fury to consume the sickening waves of fear that had threatened to overwhelm him. And although anger had been more bearable before, now all he wanted was peace of mind. His mind rebelled, however, stubbornly bringing up images of her well being if only she would have stayed at home. If only she hadn't been so stupid! And he knew deep down that she had done it not just for peace, but for him, too. That nearly imperceptible thought had somehow found a way to turn him into a tight bundle of nerves. 

Finally, he burst, rising to flail his arms and stomp around the room. "I don't want to be mad anymore, Hilde, so wake up! I'll forgive you. I'll take you home, where we can run our own salvage business, forget this ever happened . . . just wake up, please," he pleaded, "I promise I won't leave again. The war's over; you did your part. I won't have to leave you again." Then he sat at her bedside once more and was quiet, having said his piece. The only thing left to do was wait.

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Hilde's injuries were not as bad as they seemed. She was just tired, so very tired, and she didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to wake up and find that the war raged on or that Duo was hurt . . . or dead. But finally, after much prodding from her reason, her heart conceded and let her open her eyes. She quickly closed them again, cursing those evil electric lights that seemed to be right in her face. Squinting this time, she allowed her eyes time to become used to the light. How long had it been? She gritted her teeth; her left arm hurt like hell when she wiggled her fingers, and she shuddered when she realized there was an IV in it. When she tried to do the same with her right fingers, they felt like they were pinned down. Nearly panicking and unable to lift her head, she jerked her arm up and brought her fingers in front of her face. She wiggled them joyously and smiled a little, which caused her dry lips to split.

"Hilde!" cried the cause of her fingers' earlier entrapment. 

Her eyes darted to her right. It was Duo! She opened her mouth to say something, but only managed to emit a raspy squeak. She grinned sheepishly, her bottom lip stinging.

He brushed her bangs away from her face, smiling happily, his eyes even brighter than usual. "How are you feeling? You've been out for the past couple days."

"Sore," she whispered, returning his smile nonetheless.

"Here, drink this," he said, bringing a glass of water up to her mouth. Mmm, it felt good to wet her dry throat.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." 

They looked contentedly at each other for a few moments until she remembered. Her smile faded, and she shifted uneasily. "Are you still mad?"

He lowered his eyes, looking rueful as he fingered her blankets. "No, I promised you earlier that I'd forgive you if you woke up. So just don't get yourself hurt again, okay?"

"I'll do my best," she said, relaxing against her pillow once more.

"I also promised that I wouldn't leave you again, at least not without your permission."

An ungrateful, indignant snort. "Is that just to make sure I don't come chasing after you again?"

Duo grinned and remained elusive. "Whatever you want to believe."

She made another sound of annoyance but decided to change the subject and asked, "Did the disk help?" 

"Immensely—" he didn't want to get into that, "Hilde, the war's over. Everything's going to be okay." He was holding her hand again.

Hilde shut her eyes and tilted her head back, attempting to release the remaining tension in her body. It was all over, but she only felt like crying. It would be such a release. A long moment passed as she tried to get a hold of herself, and although she squeezed Duo's hand hard, a tear still managed to escape from her eye. "That's all I need to know for now," she said tightly. The rest would be too overwhelming in her current state of exhaustion, and she frowned upon the thought of turning into a crybaby. "Thank you, Duo, for being here."

He smoothed her hair. A burning sensation had also formed behind his eyes while he had watched her struggle. She shouldn't be here like this; she should be home where he could properly take care of her. "I got here as soon as I could. I'm gonna take you home soon, okay?"

"That sounds nice," Hilde yawned, a welcome drowsiness ushering her into the serenity of sleep. "I think I want to go back to sleep now."

Duo leaned over and kissed her forehead as her eyes drifted closed. After a few moments, he stood up; his heart was glad again. The thought that she had retrieved the disk for him was stashed in a file marked "Forget." And now it was time to see Quatre. Duo had promised he would celebrate with Trowa and him. Now that he knew Hilde was going to be okay, his heart would be in it. Whistling cheerfully, hands in his pockets, he ambled out of the room.

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Best Friends

By Mark Pennells & Zarc Porter

Performed by V*enna

We were just beginning

I didn't know your name

You were there with everybody

Walking in the rain

I didn't have to tell you

You didn't have to ask

I knew that we'd be friends forever

I knew that we could last

Tried to show you all that I believe

How you are to me

More than I could ever think or dream

You're all that a friend can be

I remember walking with you

In the summer late afternoon

Looking out for something to do

'Cause you know we're best friends

But if I don't know where you are

You will always be in my heart

All along we knew we would part

But you know we're best friends

I could understand you

And you could make me laugh

I never meant to take for granted

All the time we had

And so, the time is here now

We're gonna be apart

And now I'm gonna take you with me

If only in my heart

Tried to show you all that I believe

How you are to me

More than I could ever think or dream

You're all that a friend can be

I remember walking with you

In the summer late afternoon

Looking out for something to do

'Cause you know we're best friends

But if I don't know where you are

You will always be in my heart

All along we knew we would part

But you know we're best friends

Tried to show you all that I believe

Hey, yeah, whoa

I remember walking with you in the afternoon

I don't know where you will be; you will be in my heart

I remember walking with you

In the summer late afternoon

Looking out for something to do

'Cause you know we're best friends

But if I don't know where you are

You will always be in my heart

All along we knew we would part

But you know we're best friends

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Author's Notes: I would really appreciate reviews, especially ones that tell me if I'm characterizing Duo right. I really want to make him act and sound like he did in _Gundam Wing_ because he's my favorite character. I want to do him justice. Any other suggestions are welcome, too. I should be updating about every two weeks. Thanks for reading and God bless!

To Be Continued


	2. Ch 1 Dancing, Dating, and Dreaming

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Platonic Love – Chapter One – Dancing, Dating, and Dreaming

By Kilmeny

Disclaimers: _Gundam Wing_ belongs to Sunrise. Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them. This story is not being used to make a profit.

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Author's Notes: Once again, it would be a good idea to reread this chapter if you've read it before. I've edited it since then, and there's an extra part at the end. Remember, this begins a year after _Endless Waltz_. Enjoy!

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Chapter One – Dancing, Dating, and Dreaming

Celebrating—everyone was celebrating, except Hilde. She didn't feel much like celebrating. It was New Year's Eve of her 17th year; she was single, never been kissed! And she was supposed to feel like celebrating?! Come on! Like that would ever happen when she was in this mood. She'd rather just mope around by herself.

It wasn't that she was unhappy. No, that wasn't it. Her life for the past year had been great. Duo had returned safe and sound after the Mariemeia incident, and they had even decided to go back to school at a university nearby. They had made lots of new friends, and she loved her school. She loved her job in the salvage business, and she loved her home with Duo, but lately she'd felt like something was missing. Upon closer examination she realized that she was a little lonely, not for friendship but for love. She'd barely dated, so immersed had she been in her studies, whereas Duo dated a new girl every week. But now that she had decided she wanted to date seriously, she barely knew how to go about it. Should she wait for the guys to come to her, or should she bravely go out on the dance floor and put dibs on the hottest guy she could find? The only thing Hilde could decide was that this night sucked . . . big time. 

"Hey, Hilde, how's it going?"

Hilde looked up from the remains of the punch she had been swirling in her glass. It was one of Duo's buddies Blake Starbuck, the epitome of a "tall, dark, and handsome" man with black hair and deep brown eyes. He also towered over her, making him that much more formidable. There was no way she was going to tell him what she had just been thinking. She plastered on a very nervous smile, "Good, are you having fun?"

"Yeah, although I'm not really into fast-dancing, but I'd like to slow-dance, if you would, later?" 

Hilde felt herself blush, amazed with her luck. Now don't stammer! "I'd love to."

Blake smiled, "Great, so, how's your remodeling for the salvage yard going?"

"Oh, did Duo tell you?" she asked, and when he nodded, she said, "Well, I still have to get the cabinets in for the storage room, but Duo hasn't had time yet to help me. Otherwise, our offices are done."

"Did you get all the new tools that you wanted?"

"Yes!" she answered excitedly, her recent pessimism vanishing with the reminder of her new toys, "And a new computer. It was part of my Christmas present from Duo."

Blake was surprised to see a girl get so worked up over a new set of tools, but then again, it was Hilde. He was about to ask if he could help her with the cabinets when Duo came over, clamoring for her attention.

"Hilde-babe! I need you. They want us to dance for them!"

Hilde's eyes left Blake's and turned to Duo, her smile brightening. "What kind of dance?" she asked, up for the challenge.

"A little swing, a little tango, and maybe even some dirty," he said, a glint in his eye as he placed a hand suggestively on her hip.

She laughed and slapped his hand away, throwing her drink in a trashcan. "Duo, I'm not dancing dirty with you in front of all these people," then she turned to Blake, "I'll be right back, okay?"

"I'll come watch," he said, sighing inwardly at Duo's bad timing. Duo had encouraged him to ask Hilde out, so why was he interrupting them?

Meanwhile, Duo was teasing her as he led her out to the dance floor, "So, you want to dirty-dance in private, then? I think it can be arranged."

"Stop it, you pig! You're awful."

"You know you love me," he said, as he pulled her against him when the song started.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she said, and then they were dancing, too caught up in the moment to talk anymore. Although Duo had brought along a date to the club, he and Hilde were usually demanded by their friends to dance at least once together. This was because they were undoubtedly the best dancers in their class, but only when they danced together. There was an extra spark, an added energy and tension that wasn't there when they danced with someone else. 

The song switched from a swing to a tango, and they switched just as easily, a fire in their eyes as their gazes hardly broke contact, seeming to challenge one another: who could dance better? Who would tire first? Everyone whistled and clapped, cheering them on, enjoying the show. 

When the song ended, Duo whispered in her ear, "You win. I messed up that time."

"What are you talking about? You didn't miss a step."

"But I interrupted you and Blake."

"Oh . . . there was something to interrupt?"

Duo looked incredulous. "Just go back and talk to him," he said, shoving her towards Blake, who was waiting off to the side.

Hilde resisted and glared at Duo, embarrassed, then, seeming to collect herself, she walked back over to Blake.

"You were great out there," he said, offering her a fresh drink.

"Thanks," she said shyly.

Blake decided not to waste a moment, "You said you still needed the cabinets in, right?"

"Yeah, who knows when they'll get done, though."

"Well, I could come over and help you with them. I'm not busy tomorrow."

Hilde rewarded him with a smile, "Great, I'd really appreciate it. Uh, how about you come over in the afternoon, and we could go to dinner afterwards." Inwardly, she commended herself on her bravery. She had just asked a guy to dinner!

"That would be perfect," replied Blake.

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"Duo! Get in here. I need you!" yelled Hilde, dancing up and down in front of her mirror, haphazardly throwing shirts against herself to see what would look best.

Duo came running in, "Are you alright?" he asked, a hand on the doorframe, catching his breath. Then he chuckled, "Oh, is _that_ all?"

"Duo, it's not funny. I can't find anything to wear!" she said in exasperation. She flung the offending garments on her bed and crossed her arms.

"Chill out, Hilde, you guys are just putting some cabinets in, not going on a big, romantic date." He walked over and picked up a few of her shirts, placing them against her as she had done, studying her face. "Hmm, these all look fine to me, but your eyes look really nice with this one," he said, handing her a royal blue shirt.

She took it reluctantly, "Yeah, but he's probably seen me a dozen times in it."

"And if he didn't like the way you looked in it, then he wouldn't have asked you out."

"But what if this is the one shirt in my wardrobe that he absolutely despises?"

"Then I'm sure he'll walk out the door in disgust as soon as he sees you in it." When Hilde's negative expression didn't change, he laughed, "Oh, come on, Hilde. I know Blake thinks you're great. He's used to prissy, superficial girls, and from the moment he met you, I can tell he thought you were something special. What other girl would spend the day with him playing with power tools? And looking hot in a blue shirt with a . . ." he stopped to look around the room, then picked up a pair of black pants halfway hidden beneath her bed, "pair of _tight_ pants." He threw them out on the bed with a flourish. 

Hilde relented and let out a giggle. "Did he _say_ that he thinks I'm special?"

Duo rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and leaned against the wall. "No, but he did ask me if it would be okay if he asked you out."

"Why would he ask you that?"

"We _live_ together, Hilde. I'm sure a lot of guys assume that you're off limits or something."

"I hate that!" Hilde said, wrinkling her nose, "Why do people assume that we— . . . maybe I should just go around with a sign that says ding-ding-ding 'I'm single! I'm _not_ with Stupid' and a little arrow pointing to you."

"Hey! That's hardly necessary. Anyway, I'm sure with Blake around, you won't be able to wear that 'single' sign for long," he said, ending in singsong voice.

Hilde smiled fondly at Duo. "Thanks for the encouragement. You can go now. I've gotta get dressed."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, use me, abuse me, then send me on my way. But good luck anyway, Hilde-babe."

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"Of course, I get stuck with the dishes while she has fun with her date," Duo whined good-naturedly to himself as he rinsed out a pan, splashing water on the counter for good measure. He looked out the window, watching as Hilde talked with Blake in the backyard. Her eyes were bright as she chattered on, but Duo could tell she was nervous. He was sure, however, that Blake wouldn't notice. He raised a brow, thinking, _Hmm, she does look hot in that outfit I picked out, if I do say so myself_. Come to think of it, why hadn't someone noticed Hilde before now? He knew that she frequently became upset about her constant single status, and she probably thought there was something wrong with her. It should be more likely that people thought there was something wrong with _him_—living with such a gorgeous girl for so long and not putting the moves on her. But it was as if he and Hilde had silently come to the conclusion that it wasn't like that; it was simply . . . platonic, that's all. Yet Duo never took the time to wonder much about this. He didn't like to analyze things that were so complicated.

Duo wondered if he would be expected to let her talk about her date tonight. Sure, he didn't mind, but he also didn't want to hear it from Blake as well, then they might expect him to tell them what the other one said, so on and so forth. He did not want to get in the middle of it all. And besides, it might be a little weird to hear about Hilde's love life. Not that he'd be jealous or anything; it would just be . . . weird . . . and complicated. Complicated was _not_ good, so he wouldn't ask.

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"So, how'd it go?" _Why_ was he asking?

Hilde smiled and hung her coat up on its proper hook, picking up Duo's coat that had been tossed across the back of an armchair and hanging it as well. "Great. We didn't do anything fancy, but I still had a lot of fun. It was only our first date after all."

"Oh," _okay, please don't go into detail_.

"He said he wanted to see me again sometime, and I'm glad. I feel pretty comfortable with him, you know?"

"Yeah," said Duo, forcing a smile of interest.

"Well, I think I'm going to do some homework and go to bed, okay?" 

"Okay, goodnight." He let out a breath of relief.

__

That was strange, thought Hilde as she walked down the hall, _why'd he look so tense_? After finishing her homework, she flopped down on her bed and smiled, daydreaming about her next date with Blake. He had been such a gentleman, and he was so hot, not that that was extremely important or anything. As she dozed off, she noted that his smile was a lot like Duo's.

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A couple weeks and two dates later, Hilde and Duo were sitting on the couch and watching a movie, attempting to share a bowl of popcorn. Unfortunately, because of the constant tug-a-war over the bowl, the couch usually ended up with the biggest share. It had been Hilde's turn to pick the movie that week, and of course she had picked something romantic, but it had battle scenes for Duo, too. It was coming up to the really romantic part where Guinevere would finally let Lancelot kiss her, only to be interrupted by King Arthur. Hilde's eyes neither left the screen nor blinked as she brought handfuls of popcorn up to her mouth. Duo merely rolled his eyes, watching her expression with more interest than the actual movie. When the scene was over, Hilde sat back against the cushions and sighed, smiling dreamily. 

"Are you satisfied now?" asked Duo.

"I won't be until the end. Hey, the popcorn stays in the middle, not on your side!" Duo guiltily placed the bowl back between them, but not before taking a generous handful.

"Maybe we should just get separate bowls," laughed Hilde. They had never been good about sharing when it came to food.

"Nah, you'd still find a way to fight about it."

"I'm not taking the bait and starting a fight about you saying that."

"Aww, so close," said Duo, grinning as he got up and stretched, "I'm going to get another drink." He retreated to the kitchen. Moments later, he heard a wail from the living room. He rushed back to Hilde. "What is it this time, a spider?"

"No," moaned Hilde in distress, "I just realized Blake hasn't kissed me yet!"

Duo resisted the urge to look horrified. _No details, please!_ "_Geez_, Hilde, um, I'm sorry?" What was he supposed to say?

"He hasn't _yet_, but he's bound to eventually, right?"

Evidently, the movie had driven her mad. He turned it off and sat down beside her. "Hilde, I'm really not following you on this one."

She groaned and put her head in her hands. "I've never been kissed, Duo! What if I'm a horrible kisser? Man, this is so embarrassing."

Duo was a little surprised to hear this, and he wanted to be comforting, so he said, "Well, I could tell you if you're a bad kisser or not."

Hilde immediately raised her head and looked at him with wide eyes. "You could?" she asked, as if she thought there was some sort of birthmark he could find on her or a test he could give her to judge her kissing ability.

"If you don't mind me being your first kiss, that is," he replied nonchalantly, "I mean, there has to be some benefits to having a guy for a best friend."

Her cheeks went pink. "Oh," she said intelligently. "I . . . guess I don't mind."

"I'll have to do it sometime when you're not really expecting it, though."

Hilde laughed, her shyness retreating. "So if you jump me in the kitchen later this week, then I know you'll just be testing me, right?"

Duo grinned mischievously. "Right."

"But you have to do it sometime before my date Friday and definitely not in public or in front of anyone. And don't grab me from behind or anything."

"Okay, okay, Hilde, I get your point. I'm not going to surprise you _that_ much."

"What if I _am_ a bad kisser? What if I gross you out, and then everything will be weird, or what if Blake comes over and- and-"

"Jumps you in the kitchen?" offered Duo.

Hilde's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, don't let us be alone if he comes over, okay?!"

Duo laughed outright at her expression. "Chill out, Hilde, you're not going to gross me out, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if Blake kissed you before you were sure of your _skill _or whatever it is you need to know."

Hilde leaned over and gave Duo a hug. "Thanks, Duo, you always keep me from freaking out."

"That's what I'm here for," he replied, wrapping his arms around her petite frame, thankful that she was there for him, too.

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If there had ever been a time when Duo was especially grateful for Hilde's presence, then it was after he had one of his nightmares. His nightmares usually consisted of a violent scene from his childhood at the Maxwell Church, an especially horrific battle, or some act of violence his mind made up. It wasn't that the nightmares scared him exactly, it was more that they disturbed him, forced him to recall memories he wanted to forget, and so he needed someone there to take his mind off of things. Hilde was always there. She never laughed at him as if he was acting like a frightened child, nor did she brush it off as something he should just "get over." She understood that horrific things had happened to him, and he needed her help, simply in the form of her presence. 

In this nightmare he had played the leading role as God of Death once again. Presently, he was sitting up in bed, his sheets twisted around him and sweat trickling down his face. He sighed heavily, wanting to remember the dream, but at the same time wishing he could shut it out. He remembered standing in a wheat field and watching Hilde timidly walk toward him, holding something in her outstretched hands. When she was close to him, he could see that she was about to cry, which troubled him, since she had only truly cried once in the time he had known her. She held out the gift in her hands to him; he couldn't recall what it was. But then when he took it, he threw it onto the ground, and it shattered like glass into a million pieces. Hilde crumpled at his feet, seemingly lifeless, and he had walked away! Walked away from her, just like that! Before he could turn back to her, he woke up.

Duo glanced up at the quiet knock on his door. "Come in," he said wearily.

The door opened, revealing a worried, pajama-clad Hilde, shivering in the night's coolness. "Did you have another nightmare?"

"Yes," he replied, motioning her to climb in next to his warmth. Hilde gratefully obliged. He was startled when he felt a cool, wet cloth on his face. She thought of everything. He took it from her and dragged it over his face, wishing that he could just as easily wipe away the memories as he wiped away the sweat. "Hilde, when am I going to get over this?"

She gently cupped the side of his face, studying him intently to make sure he was all right. "I don't know. Will it help for you to talk about it?"

He took the hand that cupped his cheek and lowered it but didn't let go. She still felt fragile. Shaking his head, he replied, "Not this time," unwilling to let her know how he had treated her, even if it had been a dream.

"Do you want me to stay?"

He knew he shouldn't ask her to sleep beside him, but after that particular dream, he really needed her close. "For a little while."

"Alright, come here then," she said, propping herself up against some pillows and directing him to lay his head on her lap. There was a lump in his throat and stinging behind his eyes as Hilde ran her fingers through his bangs and hummed softly. It had be so long since anyone had been as kind to him as she always was. 

"How did you know I had a nightmare?" he asked, his voice shaking a little.

"I don't know. I think I woke up thinking about you, and it was weird . . . my heart was hurting."

He shivered as a vision from his dream flashed in his mind; the shards of Hilde's gift still lay glittering on the ground, but this time Hilde's body was gone.

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Author's Notes: Feedback is very welcome. Tell me what you look for in a good DuoxHilde story, and I'll definitely keep it in mind. I'm hoping to make a lot of progress in my writing during this story, my second multi-chapter work. Thanks for reading and God bless!

To Be Continued


	3. Ch 2 A Picnic and That Ball Thingie

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Platonic Love – Chapter Two – A Picnic and "That Ball Thingie"

By Kilmeny

Disclaimers: _Gundam Wing_ belongs to Sunrise. Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them. This story is not being used to make a profit.

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Author's Notes: Yay, entirely new chapter! I'm so sorry it took me so long. But this last trimester of my senior year is going to be such a cinch that I should have plenty of time to write and keep on bringing the updates. Enjoy the new stuff!

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Chapter Two – A Picnic and "That Ball Thingie"

It was the morning after Duo's nightmare, and Hilde was back in her own bed, blissfully sleeping in, dreaming sweet dreams, curled up in her cocoon of covers. That is, until a braided idiot came flying into her room and bounced on the bed beside her, rudely jolting her awake.

"Wake up, Hilde-babe, I know you're in there somewhere. I have the whole day planned for us, so rise and shine!" he cheerfully proclaimed.

Hilde groaned a few choice words, attempting to send Duo away to a fiery place beneath her room, far, far away from her. Then maybe she could get some sleep.

"Been there, done that," he replied, just as cheerfully, "and don't be like that. I've already got the picnic basket packed and everything. All you have to do is get dressed and ready." Although a picnic in the middle of January may sound strange, the L2 colony where Duo and Hilde lived was monitored to have a steady, mild climate, occasionally creating its own rain or snow. Duo was sure the day would be beautiful, and he attempted to convince Hilde of this as he flung open her dark purple curtains to proudly point out the blinding light that now flooded her room. "See, it's going to be a gorgeous day!"

"How am I supposed to _see_? It's blinding me, Duo. Shut the curtains! Can't a girl get any sleep around here?" she yelled irritably, squinting in Duo's direction before throwing the covers back over her head and burrowing back into her cocoon.

Needless to say, Duo did not shut the curtains but continued to annoy her until she finally got up and stomped into the bathroom. "Sheesh, Hilde," he called after her, "I'm just trying to be nice and take you out for a picnic. What does a guy have to do to get some appreciation around here?"

"Wait until _at least_ 10 A.M. to wake a girl up!" was her muffled reply.

**********

Duo had decided to devote his day to Hilde for helping him the night before. He realized that he often took her kindness for granted and wanted to show her his appreciation. So, there they were, roaring down a country road on Duo's motorcycle, looking for a nice place to have their picnic. But unfortunately, without any warning, rain began to pour down on them in torrents. Duo stopped the bike, cursing the sky and exclaiming that this had certainly not been in the forecast. 

"It's okay, Duo, come on!" yelled Hilde.

Duo looked around, surprised to see Hilde standing in the middle of a field, twirling around and raising her arms to the sky. "You're crazy! We're going to get soaked," he shouted back, although it was apparent that they already were. He ran up to her, laughing as she caught some rain on her tongue and shook her wet bangs out of her eyes, rivulets of water streaming down her face. Grabbing her around the waist, he twirled her around, then set her back down and smiled at her. "Of course you'd have more fun in the rain than if it was sunny outside," he told her.

She shrugged her shoulders and gave a lopsided smile. "Let's go eat. I caught a glimpse of a building or something behind those trees," she said, pointing.

The building turned out to be an old gazebo, overtaken by vines, probably used by a photographer before he moved his practice elsewhere. Duo and Hilde settled down in the middle of the gazebo, pulling out their sandwiches and reclining as they ate. The only sounds were those of the woods around them: rain pattering on the leaves and the rustles and chirps of birds. They were both content to be silent and enjoy each other's presence.

"What's for dessert?" asked Hilde after she had finished her sandwich.

"Strawberries and whipped cream," Duo answered happily, knowing that it was her favorite fruit.

The two gorged themselves on the sweet berries, Duo allowing Hilde to have as much as she wanted, which was one of the few times they didn't fight over food. That is, until there was only one strawberry left. The whipped cream, of course, had been used up way beforehand. The solitary berry sat innocently in the bowl; Duo and Hilde eyed each other, then they both dove for it, grappling and shoving. Beaming triumphantly, Hilde scampered to the side of the gazebo with the prize in hand. Duo swooped down on her, but she ran back out into the field, where it was still raining heavily. He was close on her heels, however, eager for the chase.

She screamed girlishly as she slipped on the wet grass and fell on her backside, giggling loudly and holding the berry up so that it wouldn't touch the ground. Before she could even attempt to get up, Duo was on top of her, tickling and struggling with her until he had her hands trapped above her head. Hilde shrieked and laughed, then groaned in defeat as he reached over and took a bite off the strawberry still clutched in her fingers. She snatched her hand out of his grasp and popped the rest into her mouth, then laid her head back on the ground and laughed.

"Why didn't I just eat it in the first place?" she asked herself.

He smirked. "Because you know you like the fight and the chase more than whatever it is we're fighting over."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she replied, smiling as she looked him in the eyes, where he still hovered over her. Her smile faded a bit at his intense gaze; his eyes had never looked such a deep, dark violet.

He didn't release his hold on her, but quickly lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. She stiffened in extreme surprise, but then she remembered that he was just testing her, so she hesitantly responded. Duo's hands went up into her hair and cradled her head as he gently brushed his lips over hers. The kiss started out soft and gradually turned more urgent. Hilde's hesitation was quickly exchanged for enthusiasm as she found it rather pleasant. When she felt his tongue slide over her bottom lip, she began to open her mouth, but just as quickly as it started, he was off of her and standing a good three feet away, breathing heavily, his eyes a little wild.

Hilde slowly sat up, not daring to look at him, sure that she had disgusted him. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, to stop the now painfully awkward silence between them, but Duo beat her to it.

"I didn't mean to- to do _that_. I only meant to keep it short . . . I- I'm sorry." It turned out that Hilde's assumptions were much mistaken. Duo had become a little carried away, for when he had tasted the sweet strawberry on her lips, reason had almost flown completely out the window. Fortunately, he thought, he had realized it was _Hilde_, for goodness' sake, before he did anything he would regret.

"It's- I- did I do something wrong?" stammered Hilde, feeling pathetic.

Immediately, Duo was roused from his thoughts and crouching beside her. "No, no, of course not. You did everything right. You have nothing to worry about . . . with Blake." For some reason it was kind of difficult to say his friend's name.

"Really?" she asked, finally daring to look him in the eyes.

"Yeah," he said softly, smiling encouragingly.

"Thanks, Duo. I know that was probably kind of weird for you, but I feel a lot more confident now."

"Oh, it was no problem," he answered casually. _Absolutely no problem at all_, he told himself unconvincingly. Before he could think on that too much, Hilde giggled, sounding like her usual self again. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, it's just that this is_ so_ weird, and I can't believe we made a deal on it. Anybody else would think I was totally screwed up to want you to test me on my kiss-ability."

"Well, I guess I understand you more than anybody else then. I don't think anybody could put up with your strange and ever-changing moods like I do."

"I'm not that bad, am I?"

Duo's response was merely a raised eyebrow.

**********

****

You Get Me

By John Shanks, Shelly Peiken, Abra Moore, & Michelle Branch

Performed by Michelle Branch

So, I'm a little left of center

I'm a little out of tune

Some say I'm paranormal

So I just bend their spoon

Who wants to be ordinary

In a crazy, mixed-up world

I don't care what they're saying as long as I'm your girl

Hey, you were on my side

And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me

When nobody understands

You come and take the chance, baby

You get me

You look inside my wild mind

Never knowing what you'll find

And still you want me all the time

Yeah, you do

Yeah, you get me

You get me

So what if I see the sunshine

In the pouring rain

Some people think I'm crazy

But you say it's okay

You've seen my secret garden

Where all of my flowers grow

In my imagination anything goes

I, I am all you want

They, they just read me wrong

You get me

When nobody understands

You come and hold my hand, baby

You get me

You look inside my wild mind

Never knowing what you'll find

And still you want me all the time

Yeah, you do

'Cause you get me

'Cause you get me

Hey, you were on my side

They, they just rolled their eyes

Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me

When nobody understands

You come and take the chance, baby

You get me

When none of the pieces fit

You make sense of it

You get me

You look inside my wild mind

Never knowing what you'll find

And still I want you all the time

Yeah, I do

'Cause you get me

'Cause you get me

Yeah, oh, yeah, oh

**********

__

There is something seriously wrong with this picture, Duo thought in disgust. Once again, he was home alone on a Friday night without a date while Hilde was out on the town with Blake. He spitefully scooped out another spoonful of chewy chocolate fudge ice cream from his pint and popped it in his mouth. He was sprawled out on his bed, pillows propped around him, watching TV, like some kind of loser. _Not that I'm not happy for Hilde or anything, but really, why haven't I had a date in the past month?!_ Maybe it was because he was too busy staying at home, worrying about Hilde every time she went out with Blake. It was stupid, he knew, because he completely trusted the guy. He just wasn't used to this whole Hilde dating thing.

And there was the woman herself, he realized, wondering how long she had been standing in his doorway. "Oh, hey, Hilde," he said casually, discreetly placing his ice cream on his nightstand. 

She walked in and sat down on his bed. "What are you watching?" she asked in an amused voice.

"Huh? Oh, I wasn't really watching that," Duo said, quickly flicking off the sickeningly sappy chick flick Hilde had been referring to.

"Right," she replied skeptically.

"And how was your date?" He mentally slapped himself. _Doi! You don't want to know, remember?_

"He didn't kiss me," she said flatly.

The silence seemed suffocating in the dark room. Why the hell was this so awkward? "I'm sure he will soon. Don't worry." Duo nearly gagged; this was definitely something she should be talking to a girl friend about, not him.

Hilde released a large, weary sigh. "Duo, is there something wrong with me?" she asked.

There was a tightness in his chest as she crawled over and he let her huddle against him. "No, there's nothing wrong with you. I don't- I don't know what to say to make you feel better. Um-"

"Don't worry about it," she interrupted morosely, "You don't have to say anything. Just bear with me, okay?"

"Okay," he said, "tough week?"

"Uh-huh," she replied in that same tired voice.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She moved away from him. "No, it's really not a big deal. I'm just exhausted all of a sudden."

"You know, it's okay to be all girly and emotional, Hilde. I keep telling you that, but you always try to be so tough."

"Yeah, I know," she answered, but firmly held back any tears that were threatening to come.

At that moment the vid-phone flicked on Duo's TV screen. It was Chang Wufei, sitting stiffly in his Preventers uniform. He grimaced when he saw Hilde and Duo together on the bed. "I see that I have called at a bad time . . ." he said, looking a little squeamish.

Duo waved a dismissive hand, "Don't be so assuming, Wufei, now how can I help you?"

Wufei raised a brow. "I have called to inform you that Colonel Une has a mission she wants you to do, so please contact her at her office as soon as possible. She wanted me to tell you in advance because she would like you to have decided on it ahead of time."

"Do you have any idea what this is about?"

"No, I only know that you will have a partner. Oh, and she specifically wants you for the job. I certainly don't know _why_."

"Well, _thanks_, I'll call her tomorrow morning. See ya."

"Goodbye, Duo, Hilde," Wufei acknowledged her with a small nod of the head before he terminated the connection.

"Hmm," Hilde mused, "it seems his partnership with Sally Po has taught him a little bit of courtesy."

"Definitely. I wonder who my partner will be for this mission."

"You're going to go?" Hilde asked, giving him a sharp look.

"Only if you're okay with it."

She thought for a moment. "Just keep in touch with me. You know I hate it when you up and leave, and I don't hear a word from you for two months. It's torture," she explained as she wiggled off his large bed.

"I'll call and write as much as I can. But you won't get lonely. You have Blake, remember?"

Hilde didn't look very comforted by this reminder, but she quickly switched the subject. "I'll finally have a chance to clean house while you're away."

"I keep on telling you that you can clean while I'm here." It was an old argument. Hilde refused to do any heavy duty cleaning when he was around, her resolution a result of past mishaps in which Duo thought he was "helping." Duo was given domestic duties such as dishes, laundry, and cooking to do, but anything that involved something of a spring-cleaning nature inevitably turned into a disaster in his enthusiastic, but bumbling hands. Hilde had long ago concluded that his spontaneity and vigor didn't mix with well with his lack of knowledge on cleaning.

"Well, I have that ball thingie to go to with Blake tomorrow night, so I might leave before you do, so we might have to say goodbye then."

"Alright, 'night, babe."

**********

"Grr, this stupid zipper!" exclaimed Hilde, trying in vain to pull the zipper up the back of her dress. "Duo! I need you!" It was a common phrase heard in their house.

"You'll have to come in here, Hilde, I'm busy," she heard him yell from the living room.

She stomped down the hall, knowing full well that he was lying on the couch, unwilling to miss a second of the game. She came to stand right in front of the TV, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Hilde, what is it?" he asked, but his frown quickly dissolved as his eyebrows shot up. "Woah!" She looked really, there was no other word for it, _attractive_. Her hair was curled, reflecting her personality in the tight, vibrant ringlets that bounced around her face. Her gown seemed to cling to every curve like skin, and that deep blue velvet looked really soft. His eyes widened even more at the strapless neckline that was- _nearly falling off_! What was she doing going out like that? "Isn't that a little low-cut?!"

She rolled her eyes, blushing a bit at his reaction, and held it up from slipping lower. "That's because it hasn't been zipped up yet. Now would you help me out here?" She turned around, revealing her bare back and the sides of the dress waiting to be zipped.

Duo stood up slowly and reached with trembling hands. This was the reason he shouldn't be living with her, he reminded himself—too much temptation to ruin a good friendship. He watched with glazed eyes as the dress began to hug her even more tightly as he zipped it. "There," he said, his voicing cracking.

An oblivious Hilde turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. "Thanks."

Duo swallowed and quickly lowered his eyes, noticing a speck on her hip. "Oh, here, you have something on you," he said, brushing it off with one hand, the other hand somehow finding its way to her other hip. He paused, daring to look into her eyes again.

She caught her breath and quickly turned her head, curls bouncing. She unconsciously leaned back against him and allowed herself to close her eyes for only a moment. Was there anything wrong with feeling this comfortable, this safe with him? Distantly, she heard him breathe her name against her neck. Her eyes sprang open; what were they doing? Quickly, she turned around, only to find his arms still around her waist, and now she had to face this.

But the trance was broken when her eyes frantically met his, and Duo stepped back. Blake would be here soon, oh, yeah . . . Blake. He had forgotten about him. Rubbing the back of his neck, he forced a smile and said, "Well then, if Blake doesn't kiss you tonight while you're wearing that dress, then there's gotta be something wrong with him."

Hilde nodded blankly. "Umm, well, I guess this is goodbye for a few weeks then."

"Yeah," he said, realizing they were now standing far apart. This was silly; what were they all worked up about? "Aw, come here," he said, pulling her into a bear hug.

Hilde laughed and squeezed back, pretending that the earlier tension had vanished. The doorbell rang, and she ran to grab her purse before being swept out the door by Blake, who was impeccably groomed and dressed in a black tuxedo. Duo was left standing in the same spot, dazed at her quick retreat. It was almost as if the moment had never happened, but how could he ignore it?

**********

"You can come in if you like. Duo's already left for Preventer headquarters," said Hilde, ushering Blake inside the house. He seemed to fill the whole doorway, the whole room. He was almost too big and tall—unlike Duo, who, although he was much bigger than her now, didn't seem frighteningly so. Why was she thinking about Duo again? That had to be about the twelfth time she'd compared Blake to Duo that night alone. Blake didn't dance the same, his arms felt different, he didn't drive in the same reckless fashion, and his voice was deeper. Why should all of that matter? She wondered if his kisses were different and when the big oaf would get around to it.

She didn't have to wait long to find out. After they had situated themselves on the couch and popped in a random movie, he made his move. It was nice. Blake was romantic; he didn't move too fast; he was a nice kisser. It was all very . . . very _nice_. So maybe it had been more exciting with Duo, but that was surely because of the surprise, and strawberries always did have a strange effect on her . . . right? Wasn't there that one time she had made a dancing fool out of herself at Relena's birthday party? Oh, yeah, it hadn't been the strawberries; Duo had spiked the punch. Anyway, that was all beside the point. She had had a very nice time tonight, almost a wild time. She _had_ taught Blake a couple of fast dances, and that was pretty exciting. Determined to make the night officially wild, she shoved Blake against the arm of the couch and pressed herself against him. So maybe she was a beginner, but she could learn fast.

**********

****

Author's Notes: Okay, I'm worried about this. Was the DxH kissing scene too sappy/cheesy? Tell me what you think so that future scenes will be more bearable. Thanks for reading and God bless!

To Be Continued


	4. Ch 3 The Tension Increases

****

Platonic Love – Chapter Three – The Tension Increases

By Kilmeny

Disclaimers: _Gundam Wing_ belongs to Sunrise. Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them. This story is not being used to make a profit.

****

Author's Notes: I am so sorry everyone for the long wait. I could list a bunch of excuses right here, but it's still my fault. Please accept my humble apologies. Thanks for the feedback I got about the kiss and characterization. Okay, enjoy the new chapter!

**********

****

Chapter Three – The Tension Increases

A month after "that ball thingie," Hilde was finishing her housecleaning. She had the music on full blast and was wailing along with it while she washed off the top cabinets from her precarious perch on the kitchen counter. Duo was due home that day, so every time she heard a car drive by, her ears perked up to listen for him. It was during a particularly loud belt-it-out type song that she felt a pair of well-muscled arms slide around her waist. She shrieked and fell backwards, causing the person to lose his balance and land on the floor. "Oof," she had landed right on his chest. Grinning broadly, she looked up at his face. "Hi . . . Blake! I thought you were- I mean- you scared me half to death." She'd thought he was Duo back from his Preventers mission. Oh, well.

He grinned sheepishly and laughed his deep, booming laugh. "I thought I'd surprise you."

At that moment the kitchen door flung open and Duo burst through the doorway. "Hilde-babe, I'm home! Whoa!" When he encountered Blake and Hilde's compromising position on the floor, he pivoted on the spot and covered his eyes with his hand. "Sorry, looks like I caught you guys at a bad time. Heh-heh."

Blake laughed again. Hilde hopped up, asserting angrily, "As if, Duo, would you turn around? It was an accident. It's not what it looks like."

Duo turned around, smirking, but with an odd look in his eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, it appears that the whole 'jumping you in the kitchen' thing finally did happen. Good thing we pract-"

"Duo!" screeched Hilde, turning a most unnatural shade of red, "You are very much mistaken! Ignore him, Blake, he's delusional." Blake stood up and brushed off his pants, looking a little confused. Suddenly, Hilde realized there was a woman standing behind Duo. _Jeez, could this get any more embarrassing?_ "Who's your friend?" she asked coolly, attempting to collect herself.

Duo brought her forward, a hand at the small of her back. She was a golden blonde, much taller than Hilde, with warm and merry honey-brown eyes. Her skin was a smooth ivory, which Hilde was sure never turned a mottled red like hers did when she cried or lost her temper, if Lorelei ever did do those things. "This is Lorelei Vala, my Preventers partner for this last mission. We hit it off really well, so I thought I'd introduce you two."

Hilde and Blake introduced themselves and they all shook hands before migrating to the living room where they sat down to talk. Hilde could still feel her cheeks burning. What an awful first impression, and this girl was flawless, like a Greek goddess in the flesh. She, on the other hand, had been cleaning. There was a handkerchief in her hair, and, she thought, discreetly rubbing the side of her nose, there was probably dirt smudged somewhere on her face. 

"It's strange that none of us have ever met. I go to the university, and I live only a few blocks away," said Lorelei, turning to Hilde. "Duo tells me that you're German, too, so I guess we can wish each other a _guten morgen_."*

Hilde smiled back, and pointed to the clock. "_Nein, guten tag_."**

Lorelei glanced at the clock. "You're right. It's already two o'clock, how time flies. I really should be going, Duo," said Lorelei, uncrossing her long legs and standing. Duo proclaimed that he would give her a ride home, and the two stepped out after bidding Blake and Hilde goodbye, or in Lorelei's case _auf wiedersehen_.*** Hilde slumped back against the couch and let out a sigh of relief.

Blake gave her a quizzical look, "What's with you today?"

"Nothing!" she groaned, changing the subject and pulling him to his feet, "Let's make something to eat. I haven't had any lunch yet, and I'm starved."

"Okay," he obliged.

**********

When Duo arrived home a couple of hours later, Blake had already left, and Hilde was waiting for Duo at the kitchen table. As he closed the door behind him, she rose and crossed her arms, a hard look on her face. "_Why_ did you embarrass me like that in front of Blake?" she bit out. 

Duo, unsure of why he had done it, but knowing that he had been disturbed by the sight of Hilde on top of Blake, merely shrugged and said, "It's not like he knew what I was talking about."

"What you said sounded pretty suggestive, and it wasn't like that!" she yelled.

Duo frowned, starting to get angry as well. "Yeah right, you expect me to believe that? You guys were probably all cozy here while I was gone, but I just intruded on your playtime. That's the real reason you're so angry."

Hilde's jaw dropped open in shock, hurt washing over her face. "How can you even think that, Duo? You know I'm not like that. And even if we were screwing around, which we _weren't_, I would never make you feel like you were intruding in your own home!"

Duo sighed and slumped into a chair, his head lowered. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't even know why I would say something like that." Hilde silently sat down across from him. He looked up at her through his bangs and gave her a lopsided smile. "I guess this is why we agreed early on that one of us would move out once we'd fallen in love. It's kind of hard for each of us to keep our opinions to ourselves."

"Well, I'm not in love with Blake, for your information. And if I ever do fall in love, I promise that you'll be the first to know."

"Thanks . . . you know, I worry about you. It's like I've got these big brother urges to make sure no guy ever hurts you." _Or touches you, or kisses you, or talks to you, or grrr, stop it!_

"Yeah, well, I guess that's alright then. Just don't stick your nose too far into my business, and certainly don't humiliate me like that again," said Hilde, her anger finally dissipating. "So, are you and Lorelei a couple now, or still just partners?"

Grinning wildly, Duo told about their adventures together and how it had become apparent that there was definitely some chemistry between them.

"She seems really nice," said Hilde, "perfect in fact."

"Yeah, you should see some of her karate moves!" Duo gushed.

Hilde faked a smile and tried to listen, but she felt a little detached, like she wasn't giving an honest reaction. Fortunately or unfortunately, Duo was too busy praising Lorelei to notice anyway.

**********

On the April evening of Hilde's 18th birthday, she lay on the couch, dejectedly fingering the lovely gold bracelet that Blake had bought for her. But her eyes weren't on the shining gold, nor were her thoughts about Blake. Her gaze instead was on the ceiling, and her thoughts and anger were bent toward Duo. He had been out all day with Lorelei, and he hadn't presented her with a gift, not even a "happy birthday" that morning! He had _completely_ forgotten her. Unsuccessfully, she tried to maintain her anger, but she felt a lump form in her throat. No, she was not going to cry. She _never_ cried, never.

Thankfully, her anger returned at that moment as she saw Duo walk jauntily into the room, so smug, so ignorant of her emotional state of being, so uncaring! What a jerk, forgetting his best friend's birthday.

"Hiya, Hilde."

"Humph."

Duo was standing in front of the couch now, giving her a timid half-smile. "Did you have a good time with Blake?"

Pursing her lips, Hilde answered with a shrug and rolled over a bit in order to turn away from him. She held up her wrist, however, showing him the bracelet. Maybe that would jog his memory a little. "He bought me this." She laid her hand back down, only to feel something wet slurp across her wrist. She turned over in surprise, nearly falling off the couch. It was an adorable, albeit slobbery, bloodhound puppy. He sat staring up at her with seemingly doleful eyes. His body was black, but his ears, face, feet, and the tip of his tail were a tawny brown. Hilde looked up at Duo quickly. "He's so precious!"

"And he's all yours. Happy birthday, Hilde." Duo's hands were in his pockets, a slight blush across his cheeks. "I had to go get him today so that I could keep him a surprise. I figured you'd be with Blake all day anyway, so please don't be mad."

"No, it's alright," she answered, scooping the puppy up in her arms, "He's perfect." Then she reached over and pulled Duo into a hug with the puppy between them. The puppy, overcome by the joy of group hugging, proceeded to gleefully lick both of their faces. They quickly pulled apart, laughing and wiping away the drool. 

**********

It turned out that the puppy was an exact doggie replica of Duo, from his black and brown coloring (he even had a red collar) to his irresistible charm. He "rescued" Hilde from spiders, "helped" with the cleaning, and was boundlessly enthusiastic and fun loving, not to mention incorrigible. Hilde tried to teach him to behave and not eat her socks, but like Duo, he just wouldn't learn. [Not that Duo ate her socks or anything.] But the bloodhound puppy was sweet, and that was the most important part. Hilde loved him and quickly decided to name him Maxwell, Max for short. Duo was secretly happy that the puppy was his namesake, and Max, well, he was just generally happy.

By the time the month of June had arrived, Duo and Hilde were out of school, and the salvage business was deep into its busy season. Max spent his time running back and forth between the office and the garage to offer them sloppy kisses, but Hilde and Duo only saw each other at breakfast. Lunch was grabbed when time allowed, and dinners were usually spent on dates, separate dates—Duo with Lorelei and Hilde with Blake. They never considered double dating. Duo had retained his revulsion (fear!) toward any news or details about Hilde's love life. And Hilde felt queasy around Lorelei. Every time she heard her say "_guten tag_" she was tempted to say "gag me." In German would have been ideal, she mused.

From the very moment she met Lorelei, Hilde declared to herself that she didn't like her. Yet she had to admit that she couldn't pinpoint the reason. If they had met under different circumstances, she suspected that she would have gladly befriended Lorelei. But the circumstances were that Duo had met her first, and Lorelei and Duo definitely did have the chemistry he had so avidly described. Hilde could easily see that his relationship with Lorelei was different from his relationships with the other women he had dated. It was based not on a shallow attraction but on the camaraderie they had gained during their mission together. Because Duo and Lorelei were friends before they dated, Hilde had an irrational feeling that Lorelei was taking her place. 

__

Maybe it isn't so irrational, she thought one day as she fiddled and clanged away under the hood of a car. _I mean, he's with her all of the time now. He hardly ever shares his problems or joys with me anymore. It's always, "Lorelei this" and "Lorelei that." He's infatuated with her; it's pathetic._

It was a typical day at the shop. Duo and Hilde performed specialized work on cars and other machinery while their hired workers transported various parts across the garage and the yard using cranes and trucks. It was busy and loud, but the familiarity of it all was somewhat comforting to Hilde. _Bang! Clang!_ She willingly added her own amount of noise to the cacophony, releasing some of her anger as her internal shouting continued. _ And he ignores his guy buddies now, too. He hasn't said more than three words to Blake for weeks, and they used to be such good friends! _Hilde slammed the car hood with relish and stood with one hand on her hip, staring unseeingly at the shining hood. Max bounded over and jumped against her leg in order to shove his head under her dangling hand, begging her to scratch his ears. She scratched absently, still lost in thought. _I guess he just gave me Max to try and replace him. Even though I love the little guy, it's not good enough for me . . . I miss Duo . . ._

"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Blake, coming over to place an arm around her shoulders.

She turned toward him and slipped her arms around his waist, laying her cheek against his chest. "I miss Duo. We never talk anymore because he's always with Lorelei."

She didn't see Blake's frown at Duo, who was working on a car on the other side of the large garage. "Is this why you haven't been yourself lately?" It was true. Hilde had seemed distracted much of the time she was with Blake, and an idea had been developing in Blake's mind for some time now. He was beginning to comprehend something of which even Hilde wasn't aware yet.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Come on, Hilde," he said gruffly, "You never smile anymore. You don't eat much, no offense to your normally large appetite. And that spunk I love about you has been lately . . . well, nonexistent."

She pulled away slightly, looking hurt. "Am I boring you now? Are you getting tired of me?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Look, all I'm saying is that maybe you have some thinking to do. You know you've been acting differently, and I think you need to figure out for yourself why. I'll be here to help you; I'm not going anywhere. It's just that—I don't know . . . I think I have an idea why you're acting so funny . . ."

"What's your idea then?"

"I'm a little reluctant to say," he paused, "It's not exactly something a guy enjoys bringing up with his girlfriend—"

"Just spit it out!" she interrupted, wrenching away from him, "What do you think is wrong with me?" She was nearly yelling now.

"Lower your voice," he said quietly, leaning slightly to pull her into her office, "I- I've been getting the impression lately that you're jealous of Lorelei."

"Of course I am! She's practically stealing my best friend!" announced Hilde, angrily gesturing in the general direction of Duo.

Blake's frown deepened. "Jealous that she's stealing your best friend or jealous that she's stealing Duo's affections for you?"

"What _exactly _are you implying?" she demanded, her heart beginning to race.

"To put it bluntly, I think you may have feelings for Duo." At her shocked expression, he continued, "Is that so hard to believe? You two have taken care of each other for the past three years. And- and unless you get your feelings figured out, our relationship isn't going to go anywhere." Blake appeared relieved to have voiced his thoughts, although there was still a pained expression in his eyes.

Hilde was speechless and embarrassed. She was having trouble grasping the thought, but she knew from the icy feeling in the pit of her stomach that Blake was onto something. She looked away from his knowing gaze and crossed her arms.

"Hilde," he said tenderly, touching a hand to her elbow, "I care about you a lot, but if this- _us_- is not what you want, then you need to let me know."

"I know," she said slowly, almost inaudibly, "I really need time to think about this, though. Can you give me some time?"

"Of course," he said, hugging her tightly. The room was quiet, and she stood motionless, letting him hold her. At length the silence and stillness were broken by a crash and a scream.

**********

****

Author's Notes: Well, that's it for now. I really hope to finish this soon, key word is "hope." Thanks for reading and God bless!

*_Guten morgen_ _(GOOT-en MORG-en)_ = good morning

**_Nein, guten tag (neyen, GOOT-en taak)_ = no, good afternoon

***_Auf wiedersehen (owf VEED-uh-zayen)_ = goodbye

~taken from Barron's _The Traveler's Phrase Book_. I just had to put in a little foreign language after my trip to Europe last summer, so there's your lesson for the day. And if anyone knows the German for "gag me," then let me know because I'm curious. And I know that just because Hilde's ethnicity is German, it doesn't mean that she knows German, but the show never says whether any characters can or cannot be multilingual.

To Be Continued


	5. Ch 4 Accidents Happen

**Platonic Love – Chapter Four – Accidents Happen**

**By Kilmeny**

**Disclaimers: **_Gundam Wing_ belongs to Sunrise.  Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them.  This story is not being used to make a profit.

**Author's Notes:** I'm so sorry about the long wait, but the good news is that this story is finished.  There are seven chapters with an epilogue coming up.  I'll post them over the next few days.  Until then, read and review!

**********

**Chapter Four – Accidents Happen**

"Aw, they're so cute together," cooed Lorelei, who was leaning gracefully against a counter as she watched Duo working on a car.

Duo immediately stilled his work and looked over at Hilde, who was presently turning to lay her cheek against Blake's chest.  Uncharacteristically, Duo made no sound except a grunt.  He had no words to describe their relationship, but if he did, the words wouldn't exactly include the term "cute."

"So, Duo, I've kind of been wondering," Lorelei said carefully, "Why do you and Hilde live together?"

Duo continued working and replied, "Because we have this business together, and it was just easier for us to get started from one place.  Neither one of us could afford a house on our own."

"It looks like you guys are probably well off by now, what with the success of the salvage yard."

"Yeah, but you know we've got our tuition to pay.  Even with my extra cash from Preventers missions, we still have to watch our money sometimes."  Duo stepped away from the car and closed the hood, his gaze involuntarily traveling over to where Blake and Hilde stood.  

Hilde's voice was beginning to rise in volume and Duo caught a few words: "What do you think is wrong with me?"

Frowning deeply, he gave Lorelei a pointed look.  "'Cute,' huh?  Sounds like things aren't going so well . . . he better not hurt her," Duo said darkly in response to the protective urges swelling within him.  His fists were clenched at his sides as he turned to glare in the couple's direction, where Blake was now pulling Hilde into her office.

Lorelei pressed her lips together before saying, "I'm sure it's nothing serious, Duo.  Don't worry about it."

"He better not be telling her there's something wrong with her.  He doesn't realize how that hurts her.  There is _nothing wrong with Hilde," Duo said, accentuating his statement by throwing his wrench into the toolbox._

"Of course not, and I doubt that is what Blake's saying," soothed Lorelei, kissing Duo lightly on the cheek.

But Duo was visibly distracted and ruffled.  He turned away, taking a few steps while running his fingers through his hair.  "I can't explain it, Lorelei, but something just doesn't feel right.  Hilde's . . . been different lately."

Lorelei chewed her lip, watching warily as a crane began to carry its load right over Duo's head.  Suddenly, a piece came loose, and she watched, horror-stricken, as the whole load began to fall.  She opened her mouth to warn Duo, but nothing came out.  The first piece glanced off the side of his head and hit his shoulder roughly, and he fell backward to the ground.  When the rest of the load landed on his leg, there was a sickening sound of breaking bone, and Lorelei finally let out an ear-piercing scream.

Blake and Hilde came running from the office as Lorelei fell down at Duo's side, checking for a pulse.  Duo lay unconscious while a couple of the workers moved the parts off of his leg.  

"Don't move him!  Blake, call an ambulance!" cried Hilde as she threw herself down at Duo's other side.  Her face was white and panic-stricken.  Blake hesitated a split-second before running back to the office for the phone.  "Oh, Duo," she murmured, feeling his neck herself and finding a pulse.  "What happened?"

Lorelei explained, "The pieces broke free from the crane and fell on him.  I- I- couldn't even warn him."

At that point, Max crept up, his head low and his doleful eyes looking even more worried than usual.  He lay next to Hilde with his head on her knee, offering what little comfort a puppy could, which was more than most humans could do, and Hilde was grateful.  As they waited for the ambulance, she could only stroke Duo's cheek and thank God that he had not been killed.

**********

A light breeze ruffled Hilde's short hair as she sat on Duo's and her favorite bench at the park, her knees tucked up to her chest.  She had escaped at the soonest opportunity so that she could come here to think upon what Blake had said.  Earlier that day, Lorelei, Blake, and she had brought Duo home from the hospital after having his broken leg put in a cast and his head stitched.  It had been Lorelei who had stepped up to take care of him, and Hilde had uttered no contradicting word.  He was hers now, she'd thought glumly.

The only words Hilde had said to Duo were "Are you going to be all right?"  He had smiled wanly and replied that he certainly would be as long as the drugs were kept close at hand.  Hilde did not follow them back into his bedroom, even when Max turned his head and looked back at her expectantly.  She had sadly shaken her head at him before turning to Blake, shifting uneasily in the awkward silence.

He'd given her shoulder a gentle squeeze and left after telling her to call him when she was ready.  When she was ready to what?  She wondered now.  Ready to date him again?  Ready to break up with him?  Ready to admit that what he had said about her was true?  Did she really have feelings for Duo?  She _did have reason to.  It was true that he had always taken care of her, and she had been there for him.  There were marriages that didn't even come near this kind of give-and-take relationship, yet she had this with Duo.  But did that mean they were in love?_

Not necessarily.  Any good friendship should be based on sharing.  Marriages were simply the bonds of two best friends, but they required romance to hold them together, right?  There was no romance between the two of them, Hilde knew.  Duo had never looked in her eyes the way he had Lorelei, and Hilde felt no desire to dine on French gourmet food with Duo the way she did with Blake.  Burgers and fries were good enough for Duo and her to talk over.

Besides, Duo was infatuated with Lorelei.  No other woman had held so much of his respect or adoration, and Hilde had felt the same about Blake.  She _had_ felt that way, but now she just didn't know.  She and Blake had never really had any chemistry.  She had wondered a dozen times before why her body hadn't felt the same thing when Blake kissed her as it had with Duo, but she had always pushed the thought away.  Well now it was time to confront that thought and similar thoughts along with it.

First and foremost in her mind were the feelings that had squeezed an imaginary hand around her heart when she had seen Duo's body crumpled on the floor across the garage.  It was the same terror that had caused her to risk her life on the _Libra and the same terror that sometimes kept her awake at night when Duo was away on a Preventers mission.  To think that he might be killed and leave her alone!  It was frightening, and presently cold fingers of dread crept up her spine just thinking about it.  She knew that her life would not be the same without him in it._

And what credible explanation could she give for the obvious jealousy she felt towards Lorelei?  Duo may have been spending more time with the woman, but he still came to Hilde for important things.  He always held her opinions in very high regard.  But it was Lorelei that Duo went to for affection and company.  After all wasn't it Lorelei who was at that very moment nursing him back to health?  Hilde wanted to be the one bringing him meals, checking on him during the night, and keeping him laughing.  One of her fondest memories was of her singing him "Brahms' Lullaby" in German during his very bad case of the flu several months before.  Either she get over her possessiveness now, or she would have to confess that she wanted to take Lorelei's place in more ways than one.

At this thought an unbidden vision of Duo taking her in his arms and kissing her quite thoroughly flashed vividly in her mind.  Hilde bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut more tightly.  She shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the thought.  What kind of person thought these kinds of things about their friend?  What would Duo say if he could read her thoughts?  Briefly, she entertained the hope that the reason Duo had begun to deepen their first and only kiss together was because he had enjoyed it as much as she had.  But then again, she knew better than to harbor a hope as unlikely as that.  When had a guy _ever_ chosen her over another girl?  

It was with a bitterness unsuited to her age that she viewed her likelihood of finding love.  Maybe this was because it was one of her dearest dreams, and she'd been denied even a glimpse of it—until Blake, that is.  Since the age of 14, despite her metamorphosis from civilian to soldier, she was a girly girl at heart.  She wanted a husband and kids and a beautiful house with a white picket fence.  But she had watched in pain and loneliness as all of her friends had experienced romance after romance; some even found their special someone.  Yet now that she was finally in her first romantic relationship, it wasn't all she'd imagined it would be.  She couldn't see herself in that beautiful house with Blake, rearing children and growing old together.  Why couldn't she have that with him?  Blake had a lot to offer.  He was handsome and smart and kind . . .

But he wasn't Duo.  

Oh, no, this couldn't mean what she thought it meant.  She _had_ to suppress this.  For her sanity's sake!  This was all one giant, hideous, horrendous accident.  She hadn't meant to do it.  She really, seriously, never ever had any intention of falling in love with her best friend.  Honestly, it was an accident!  

**********

**How Did I Fall in Love with You?**

**Performed by the Backstreet Boys**

Remember when we never needed each other 

The best of friends, like sister and brother 

We understood we'd never be alone 

Those days are gone, and now I want you so much 

The night is long, and I need your touch

Don't know what to say 

Never meant to feel this way 

Don't want to be alone tonight 

What can I do to make it right? 

Falling so hard, so fast this time 

What did I say; what did you do? 

How did I fall in love with you? 

I hear your voice, and I start to tremble 

Brings back the child that I resemble 

I cannot pretend that we can still be friends 

Don't want to be alone tonight 

What can I do to make it right?

Falling so hard, so fast this time

What did I say; what did you do? 

How did I fall in love with you?

I want to say this right

And it has to be tonight 

Just need you to know 

I don't want to live this life 

I don't want to say "goodbye" 

With you I want to spend 

The rest of my life 

What can I do to make it right? 

Falling so hard, so fast this time 

What did I say; what did you do? 

How did I fall in love with you? 

What can I do to make it right? 

Falling so hard, so fast this time 

Everything's changed; we never knew 

How did I fall in love with you?

**********

Duo had not seen Hilde for an entire day, not since he had been brought back from the hospital.  This irked him a little; she had left Lorelei to take care of him while she went out and did who-knew-what with Blake.  At least, he presumed that she was with Blake.  Of course she could be working, but why hadn't she come to see how he was doing?

"Are you going to be alright?" she had asked, and that had been all she'd asked before leaving him.  There had been no sticking around to settle him into bed, no true concern over his welfare whatsoever.  If their roles had been reversed, he most certainly would have been at her side, Lorelei or no Lorelei.  Hadn't he been there when she had awoken from her injuries after the war?  He had promised never to leave her . . . but she had made no such promise to him.  

"Duo . . . Duo?" called Lorelei, interrupting his reverie.  "I've brought you your lunch," she said as she set his tray down on his night table.

"Did you see Hilde out there?" 

Lorelei tossed her golden mane, appearing a little irritated.  "No, she must have left this morning, and she hasn't been back since.  Now will you please eat?"

Grumpily, Duo turned to his soup and ate as sullenly as he could get away with.  Lorelei rolled her eyes and turned on the TV.  When he was finished, she asked if there was anything more she could do for him.

Smirking, Duo replied, "You could hop in and keep me company."  He was a little surprised when Lorelei readily slipped off her shoes and slid in beside him.  He had actually been kidding, but he wasn't going to kick a beautiful woman out of his bed, so he settled back and allowed Lorelei to lay her head on his chest.  _Now this is the life, he congratulated himself, _no work, no interruptions, and a gorgeous woman lying beside me.  If Hilde can have a good time while I'm all banged up, then so can I.__

Lorelei turned the lamp and the TV off, leaving the room in semidarkness; then she curled her arm across his chest and pressed herself against him, closing her eyes to sleep.  Strangely enough, Duo found it hard to fall asleep.  Hilde's presence was just like an extra, albeit extra _comfortable_, pillow on his bed, but Lorelei was a well-endowed, curvaceous, long-legged goddess using his chest as _her_ pillow.  

"Uh, Lorelei?" he said in a higher voice than usual, "I'm having a little trouble falling asleep."  Oh, if his buddies ever found out that he only wanted to _sleep with Lorelei in his bed, they would rag on him mercilessly.  But he was tired, and he wanted comfort over curves._

"Well what does Hilde do when you can't sleep?" asked Lorelei, her words mildly sardonic.

"Oh, um," said Duo, thinking for a bit, then laughing, "well, last November when I was sick with the flu, she sang me 'Brahms' Lullaby' in German."

"How precious!" Lorelei exclaimed, "Do you remember any of it?"  She pulled away and leaned her head on her hand, watching him with interest in her warm eyes.

Still laughing, he did his best: "_Guten Abend, gute Nacht, Mit Rosen bedacht," he trailed off into a hum, then said sheepishly, "That's all I remember."_

"Oh, wow," giggled Lorelei, "you really butchered the language."

"Well, at least I got the melody right."

"Yeah, I'll give you that much."

Yawning, Duo let his eyes close as he remembered that November night, and the memory of Hilde's sweet voice and tender touch gently pulled him into slumber.

**********

The house was dark upon Hilde's entrance that night, but her eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness during her walk.  The only sound was that of Max's rhythmic breathing as he slept, sprawled out much like Duo on the couch, the roundness of his puppy belly prominent even in the dark.  She assumed that Lorelei must be gone.  _Whew, I'll just fix myself a sandwich and check in on Duo before going to bed_, she thought.  But as she sat at the table eating her sandwich, Lorelei stepped into the room.

"Oh, hi, Hilde.  You're finally home."

The remark was said in a friendly tone.  Nonetheless, Hilde felt guilty about her absence.  Choosing not to expand on the topic, she asked instead how Duo was faring.

"Alright.  He's asleep now.  At first he had trouble falling asleep, but then he sang me a lullaby you had once sang to him and was out soon after that."

Hilde felt a curious, unpleasant sensation in her chest; it seemed her heart had sunk down further into her body.  Why had Duo shared that moment with Lorelei?  It was a lullaby Hilde's mother had sung to her as a child, and she had told Duo that night about how her mother had died and how much she missed her.  She thought Duo knew how deeply personal that song was to her.  Even if he had only shared the lyrics with Lorelei, she still felt it was an infringement on their memory.  Bypassing these thoughts, Hilde asked, "Why was _he _singing to _you, rather than the other way around?"_

"I asked him to."

It was a simple statement, but Hilde became further depressed by it.  After a sudden rush of irrationality, she felt sure he would do anything for Lorelei if she asked him to.  She was unable and unwilling to say anything as Lorelei emptied a glass of water into the sink, but Lorelei showed no signs of deeming conversation important.  

"Well, I guess I'll go get my stuff from Duo's room and be on my way then," commented Lorelei before exiting the kitchen.  

Hilde rose slowly and cleaned up the mess she had made before heading down the hallway, expecting to meet Lorelei on her way out of Duo's room.  But instead she heard the couple's muffled voices and a soft laugh from Duo.  Feeling the blood pumping forcefully through her heart, Hilde defied her conscience and left the hall light off so that she could peek into Duo's doorway unnoticed.

"Will you be able to sleep without me this time?" asked Lorelei.

"I think I'll get on alright.  On one condition, that is," said Duo.

"Oh? And what's—" but she was silenced by Duo's mouth on hers.  Hilde quickly turned back around the corner, realizing then that all this time she'd been coveting physical affection not just from any man but specifically from Duo.  The sharp sensation in her chest that she was now experiencing had only been produced on occasions when a woman was kissing _Duo, not just any man.  Not just _any_ man—it had been _Duo_ all this time.  How could she have been so blind before?  And what was that Lorelei had said, "Sleep without me this time"?  There had been a time before?!  _

Hilde was so caught up in this emotional agony that she barely had enough time to go back and reenter the hallway before Lorelei came out.  On their passing each other, she uttered an automatic adieu before shutting herself into her room, where she distractedly changed for bed.  Once she was sure Lorelei was gone and Duo was probably asleep again, she made her way back to his room, leaving the hall light on so that she could look upon him without waking him.

As she suspected, he was asleep again, and so she felt comfortable enough to sit beside him on the bed.  His long, dark lashes, almost girlish, fanned against his rounded cheeks.  He still had a baby face, and his smile was as boyish as ever, but his body had been mature for awhile, his mind even longer than that.  The Gundam pilots had been forced to grow up fast, long before their bodies caught up with them, and now he was a young man worthy of her love.  He had always had her respect and admiration, even before she befriended him.  She never would have predicted that he would be "the One" that, ironically, they had discussed together before.  

Glancing over at his nightstand, she caught a glimpse of his grin in a picture frame.  She picked it up and brought it closer, enabling her to see that it was a picture of him and Lorelei, his arm slipped neatly around her slim waist.  They looked like the perfect couple.  With a sigh Hilde began to return the frame back to the nightstand but was nearly startled into dropping it when Duo turned in his sleep, mumbling incoherently.

Aware that it might be a nightmare, she listened for any signs of fear in his voice, but in the next moment, Lorelei's name fell from his lips.  Unaware that she had stood up, Hilde stared as Duo pulled his pillow more tightly to him and sighed happily.  It would have been cute if it wasn't so depressing.  Backing away, she found herself at the door and hastily closed it behind her.  Then she fled to her room, any fragments of hope she'd been holding onto now dashed to the floor—accompanied by the shards of her broken heart.

**********

**How Could an Angel Break My Heart?**

**Performed by Toni Braxton**

I heard he sang a lullaby

I heard he sang it from his heart

When I found out, thought I would die

Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss

He gently kissed her cherry lips

I found that so hard to believe

Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart?

Why didn't he catch my falling star?

I wish I didn't wish so hard

Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart?

I heard her face was white as rain

Soft as a rose that blooms in May

He keeps her picture in a frame

And when he sleeps, he calls her name

I wonder if she makes him smile

The way he used to smile at me

I hope she doesn't make him laugh

Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart?

Why didn't he catch my falling star?

I wish I didn't wish so hard

Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart, oh, yeah

Oh, my soul is dying; it's crying

I'm trying to understand

Please help me

How could an angel break my heart?

Why didn't he catch my falling star?

I wish I didn't wish so hard

Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart, my heart?

**********

To Be Continued


	6. Ch 5 The Promise

**Platonic Love – Chapter Five – The Promise**

**By Kilmeny**

**Disclaimers:** _Gundam__ Wing belongs to Sunrise.  Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them.  This story is not being used to make a profit._

**Author's Notes:** I've decided not to put in any more lyrics, but I'll keep with the quotes since some of you said you enjoyed them.  I meant for the quotes at the bottom of this chapter to go with the last chapter, but I forgot!  Anyway, there they are.  Please read and review, and check out my other stories if you like this one.  Thanks!

**********

**Chapter Five – The Promise**

It was hard to tell what she should do now, Hilde thought as she sat in her bed the next morning.  At some time during her long night, she had remembered a promise she and Duo had made to one another early on in their relationship.  The irony of it now burned in her mind.  They had made several promises, in fact, because of the nature of their situation.  After all, if they were to be housemates, they had to compromise.  This particular promise was made to prevent unwanted embarrassment and inconvenience in their love lives.  It was the promise that Duo had mentioned to her upon his return from his Preventers mission—that they would tell each other when they fell in love, and afterwards plans would be made for new living arrangements.  In this way the other housemate would know when a relationship was serious or not, and whether he or she was allowed to mention the "L" word around the boyfriend or girlfriend.  It would also ensure that Duo and Hilde would no longer live together upon finding "The One."  "The One" would not have to worry that his or her relationship would be threatened by a housemate.  

There had been no call for either of them to fulfill that promise, until now.

With a groan Hilde rested her forehead on her knees.  It wasn't fair; instead of preventing embarrassment, she would be fostering her own mortification.  Not to mention Duo's possible reaction to the news.  The dreaded news that she was in _love with him.  In love with _him_, not Blake.  Now that would be a surprise._

She wouldn't, _couldn't_ tell him.  She hated the thought of breaking a promise, especially to Duo, but she believed it was the only way she could leave with her dignity intact, at least to anyone's eyes but her own.  But she _was going to leave.  That was one part of the promise she would keep._

Besides the promise, it was necessary that she move out.  She couldn't love him up close, not with her emotions running wild and Lorelei around, so she would have to love him from as far away as possible.  Maybe, in time, she would get over him and meet somebody else—because if she stayed near him, then she knew that no other guy would ever stand a chance.  She had to hold onto the possibility that she'd find happiness elsewhere.    

It was settled.  While he was recuperating, she would easily be able to search for an apartment without him being aware.  By the time she had to come up with an excuse, he would probably already be prepared to tell her of his newfound love for Lorelei, and she'd be spared the trouble of admitting her own feelings.  But if, Lord willing, that didn't happen, then she would be nearly packed and ready to move into her new home anyway. . . well not really a "home" in the positive sense of the word.  No place could be a home to her without Duo in it . . . 

_Oh, no, I'm sinking into my depressing thought patterns again.  It's just so hard to think of leaving this place, leaving Duo, because of course he wouldn't come after me.  What does he need from me?  He's found it all in Lorelei now._

**********

Life now became a struggle to hide, to get out, and to keep moving for Hilde.  Duo remained unaware of her feelings and her preparations to move out while he recovered.  But he did notice that she never allowed herself to stop and rest.  She was always active, always busy; she never had enough time to say more than three words to him.  She'd always been a hard worker, but he'd never seen her sink into workaholism unless something was really upsetting her, something so upsetting that she didn't want to have time to think about it.  Soon he was overcome with an insistent desire to know what that something was.

So he watched her.  From his office, where he was still able to work while temporarily in a wheelchair, he kept an eye on her work in the garage.  From the couch he saw into the kitchen where she cooked dinner.  And in his bed each night he mulled over her behavior, trying to fit the pieces together.  She said little to anyone, especially him and Lorelei, and her smiles were few and fake.  But this only confirmed that something was wrong.  It gave him no clues to what that was, only that it might have something to do with him or Lorelei.  He could think of nothing, however.  He would have to ask Lorelei if she had recently said anything of consequence to Hilde.  

One of the few places he couldn't see her was in her office.  What was she doing in there behind closed doors?  He had taken over most of the clerical duties during his recovery time, since he couldn't be in the garage, so what need did she have to spend time in there?  Maybe she was talking on the phone to Blake, but wait a minute.  That didn't make sense because Blake hadn't even been around for several days, which was unusual.  

He could be away, but it didn't explain why Hilde was so upset, unless she missed him that much.  Or _unless_, but no, why would that happen?  Why would they have broken up?  There had been no indication beforehand, besides that squabble before his accident, that anything was amiss between them.  Yet this was the only explanation that made sense.  It could explain as well why Hilde was avoiding him and Lorelei; she simply didn't like seeing such a happy couple when her relationship with Blake had gone sour.

He would very much like to know what had been the cause of the rift between her and Blake.  If Blake had hurt her, he would deal out some justice, friend or no friend.  It blew his mind that she hadn't come to him and told him about the break-up before now.  If he found out that the reason was because she was trying to protect Blake or didn't want to say anything because he was a friend of his, then he would be furious.  Just thinking about it made him crack his knuckles in the anticipation of slamming his fist in Blake's face.  Well, if he deserved it, that is.

He would say something to her, offer her some comfort.  His shoulder would always be there for her to cry on.  After all, what were friends for?

**********

Duo knocked on Hilde's closed office door, calling out, "Hilde, it's me.  I've brought some cookies I made for you."

He heard a drawer slam and her chair creak before she opened the door, her face flushed.  "Hi, Duo, that's so sweet of you," she said a little breathlessly, helping him wheel into the room.  She sat down at her desk and watched as he set the platter of cookies down.  "What's this for?"

"To cheer you up," he said happily.

"Oh?  Um, what do I need cheering up about?" 

"Well, that's what I came here to find out for sure, but I'm pretty sure that I know already."  

Hilde swallowed, reddening. "You-you _know_?"  _Oh, no_, she thought despairingly, _get__ prepared for utter humiliation._

Duo continued to examine her closely, as he had been since he'd entered the room.  "You and Blake broke up, didn't you?" he asked carefully.

Hilde's eyes flew up to meet his in surprise.  But quickly she hid that emotion, saying slowly, "No, not exactly.  Our relationship's on hold for the moment."

Frowning, Duo asked around a big bite of cookie, "Why?"

She didn't answer right away but chewed her lip pensively.  Duo watched her just as keenly as ever.  Finally she said, "He thinks that I don't really want to be with him, so he wants me to take some time and think about my feelings."  There, that had been a little deceptive, but at least she hadn't outright lied to him.

Duo made an annoyed sound.  "Why does he think _that_?  _I_ never suspected that you didn't want to be with him."

"I don't know, Duo.  I really don't want to talk about it.  In fact, I better get back to work on Mr. Conner's truck."  Distractedly, she got up from her chair and began to leave the room.

"Wait!  Hilde, what are you doing?  Why can't you just sit down for five minutes and have a snack with me?  Is that so much to ask?"

With a dejected slump to her shoulders, she turned and fixed him under a sad, steady gaze.  "Yes, right now that _is_ too much to ask.  When I need to tell you something, I will, but now's not the time."

Angrily, he replied, "But what if _I want to talk?  I wasn't aware that our friendship was entirely under _your_ authority.  That isn't very fair."_

With a surprising amount of emotion in her voice that had only moments before been calm, Hilde spat, "_Life isn't fair.  You don't know, Duo, you just don't __know."_

"I don't know because you won't tell me!" he shouted as she stalked out the door into the garage.  "If you'd just tell me, damn it!"  Grumbling and cursing, Duo placed the plate of cookies on his lap and wheeled angrily out of the room.

**********

In the week that followed, Duo began to have his dream again, the dream about Hilde and her gift in the wheat field.  Each time it was essentially the same: Hilde approached him with her gift, he threw it to the ground, it shattered, and she lay dying as he walked away.  Sometimes the dream would extend, and he would turn around, but her body would always be gone.  He'd search and search through the wheat, but all he would find were the broken pieces of her gift.  

The gift remained an elusive facet of the dream.  Even if his dream-self lifted a shard up to his eye level, he would be unable to see it clearly enough to identify it.  And just like the gift, the dream's meaning remained a mystery to him no matter how well he remembered the minutest detail.

He didn't know what to say to Hilde now.  After the discomfort and guilt the dream made him feel every night, he was loath to sustain their argument.  However, she avoided him so much that arguing would have been impossible anyway.  

A week after their fight, he and Lorelei were preparing to go out to dinner.  With a funny, intuitive feeling, Duo told Lorelei to wait outside for him while he went to say "goodbye" to Hilde in her room.  Something was telling him that he needed to find out what she was doing.  Something wasn't right.

He decided to grab his crutches, then he made his way down the hall.  The enigmatic feeling deepened considerably.  Once at her door, he called to her and opened the door at the same time, not caring that he was violating her privacy.  What he saw when he opened the door could not have rattled him more than if he'd found the house burning down around him.

**********

Hilde jumped, dropping a roll of packing tape.  She'd been caught, caught totally unprepared without any excuse.  She _knew_ she shouldn't have procrastinated the formation of a believable excuse.  Duo would never believe anything she made up on the spot.

Breathlessly, Duo asked, "What- what are you doing?"  She turned and stood, seeing that his eyes were traveling over the room.  His expression showed clearly that he found the sight of her room, bare and packed into boxes, entirely unacceptable and horrifying.  She had nothing to say for herself, but he wasn't looking at her.  He said, "You look like you're moving out or something, but no you couldn't, you _wouldn't."  At this he raised his troubled gaze to hers, his eyes pleading with her to give some other explanation for the state of her room.  "Would you?" he asked faintly, leaning heavily on his crutches._

This was _not_ how it was supposed to have been, thought Hilde as a strange tightness formed in her throat.  Her eyes were burning as well.  She took a deep breath.  "Duo, sometimes things happen, and you just have to make some changes in your life.  I- I need to leave.  I've made a terrible mistake, and the only way for me to fix it is to go . . . somewhere else."

He frowned, staring at her incredulously.  Shaking his head, he replied, "No, I won't accept this; I won't let you go!  What _reason, what __possible reason could you have for leaving me?!"  His voice was rising in volume and beginning to shake with emotion.  He could feel every fiber of his being tightening in denial.  This could not be happening._

Yet through his haze of disbelief, Hilde was saying, "Don't look at it that way.  I'm not leaving you.  I'll still be working at the salvage yard.  I just need to be by myself . . ." she trailed off uncertainly and unconvincingly.

Anger, thick like smoke, hot like lava, seeped around him till he quaked with rage.  He heard his voice shouting, "Don't give me that bullshit, Hilde!  Tell me the truth!  Tell my why you found it necessary to sneak around behind my back.  Were you going to sneak out one night without even saying 'goodbye'?  Were you going to run off with Blake?  Is that it?  Are you two _eloping_?  You can't even tell your _best friend something that important?  You can't even tell your __best friend 'goodbye'?  You can't even tell your best friend, who's stood by you through __thick and thin, the __truth?!"_

By this time Hilde had stepped forward, raising a placatory hand.  "No, Duo, it's not like that.  It's not like that at all!  You must understand.  I don't want to leave, but I have to.  You see it was a mistake.  It just happened, and this is the only way I know to try and fix it.  Please understand."

Duo swallowed against the bitter taste in his mouth.  His breath rushed through his nostrils, a testament to his unappeased rage, but his voice had now taken on a deadly calm.  "How can I understand if I don't know what _it_ is?" he said with deliberate slowness.

Hilde stared at the floor, willing her tears to hold themselves back.  "You can't," she admitted softly.

"Then tell me the truth," he ordered.

She realized that she was trembling, but she must do this.  He deserved to know the truth.  Mustering up her courage, she hesitantly raised her eyes, surprised to see that his violet depths held not the anger she had expected, but deep, raw hurt.  It was this that gave her the push she needed.  "The truth is that—you see I—" she sighed and tried again, "You know that _best friend you were talking about?  Well, the mistake I made was that I—well, I . . . fell in love with him."_

Out of shock, the tightness in his body eased, his face transformed from deep frown to astonishment, and his mouth fell slightly open.  His brain ceased functioning altogether, as if he had been given an insanely complicated calculus problem to work out, and his brain simply wouldn't accept it.  Funny that he had never imagined that this would happen.  _Hilde had fallen in love with __him.  _Hilde___ loved him._

Maybe his body had experienced such a large amount of intense emotion since entering Hilde's room that his brain had become numb to anymore feeling.  This might explain the reason why he didn't even notice when a warm and pleasant sensation overtook his body.

Meanwhile, Hilde was experiencing an entirely different sensation, and she was very much aware of it.  As the seconds ticked by and Duo made no positive response, hardly any response at all, an invisible hand began to squeeze harder and harder around her heart.  Apparently, even after a heart had been broken, it was still there, and it could still feel pain, maybe even more acutely than a normal heart.  And the burning behind her eyes, along with the lump in her throat, was becoming even more insistent.  If Duo didn't leave soon, she was going to cry in front of him.  In fact, the trembling in her body was so violent now that she might even _collapse in tears before him.  This was unacceptable.  If she could just get him to leave!  "Duo," she said desperately._

This seemed to rouse him from his stupor.  "Hilde, I- I don't know what to say." He began to come closer, but Hilde stepped back, this time holding up a restraining hand.

"Then you don't have to say anything," she choked out, "Just please go."

Finally Duo saw the state she was in, although he had trouble believing his eyes.  She was going to cry!  Even now, her eyes were filling up with tears.  With surprise and concern in his eyes, he instinctively drew nearer to her.

"No, don't!" she cried, trying to speak as authoritatively as possible in her present condition, "I need to be alone.  _Please leave_."

Reluctantly, Duo stepped back with his crutches, his eyes never leaving hers.  She was just barely holding herself together.  It was against his every impulse to walk away from her when she was hurting, but it was what she so clearly wanted.  He wouldn't destroy her dignity by forcing his comfort upon her.

Muffled, Lorelei's voice came from the living room.  "Duo, what's taking you so long?"

If it was possible, even more hurt swam in Hilde's eyes.  The tears began to spill down her cheeks.  "See?  You have Lorelei now, so go to her," she whispered in defeat.

"I'm leaving because you want me to, not because of her," he stated sincerely as he stepped out and closed the door.

As soon as the door latched, Hilde fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands, finding painful but blessed relief in the sobs that wracked her body.  _Oh, God_, she cried, _why does he have to make me love him even more?_

On the other side of the door, Duo made his way sadly down the hall.  Upon seeing Lorelei's expectant look at the end of the hallway, he explained, "I really don't feel like going out tonight.  I have some things I need to think about."

"Oh, okay," she said, seemingly waiting for further explanation, but Duo stepped into his room and shut the door.

**********

Much later that night, after Hilde's tears had subsided and she had finished packing her things, she called Blake on the vid-phone.

"Hi, Hilde," he said, searching her face.

She could barely drudge up a smile, so she said, "I'm ready to talk now . . . um, I guess it would be better if we talked in person, so can I come over?"

"No, stay there.  I'll be right over."  And he hung up.  

A few minutes later, Hilde cautiously came out of her room and down the hall.  Duo's door was closed, so she relaxed a little and went into the front room to wait for Blake.  She sat down on the couch but didn't turn on the TV or pick up a magazine.  Her thoughts were her unwelcome and unavoidable companions tonight.

The house was cold, dark, and unwelcoming.  She pulled her knees tightly to her chest and waited.  When she heard Blake's truck pull up, she went and opened the door.  She'd feel more comfortable if Duo didn't know that Blake was there.

When Blake spotted her as he was coming up on the porch, he took two large steps to her and caught her by the arms.  "Hilde—" he said, searching her face again.

She wouldn't look him in the eyes.  Instead, she muttered, "Please sit down."

Blake obeyed but continued to eye her worriedly.  Hilde took a seat across from him on the loveseat.  Solemnly and steadily she told him the things she had realized and decided since their last conversation together.  

When she was finished, he sighed and said, "Well, I'm glad this has been resolved now . . . before I could have fallen in love with you.  Then this would be an even bigger mess."

She nodded.  "I'm sorry that things happened this way.  You didn't deserve this . . . but I'm not sorry for what we had because even though we didn't love each other, you still cared a lot about me, and I appreciate your understanding.  I also care about you and hope that you'll find someone better for you than me."

He caught her gaze and replied, "And I hope that things work out between you and Duo.  I think you're making the right decision in leaving, but I also believe that Duo will come around.  He loves you whether you believe it or not . . . I should have known to stay out of this from the start."  He laughed wryly at that.

Hilde just shook her head.  "Can you help me move out and into my apartment a couple days from now?"

"Of course.  I'll even call the movers for you."  They both stood, and then he went over to her and brushed a lock of hair off her face.  "Take care, Hilde.  Don't let this bring you down.  You have more than this to live for."

"Thanks, I know that's true, but it just doesn't feel like it right now . . . well, I'll see you later."

After Blake had left, she crept back to her room and pulled Max close to her on the bed.  She knew there would be bouts of loneliness, but she also had her friends, and she had Max.  Blake's words comforted her; she had hope that things would turn out alright in the end.  They usually did.  

**********

Love is like a virus.  It can happen to anyone at anytime.  

-Maya Angelou

True Love is but a humble, lowborn thing, 

And hath its food served up in earthenware;

It is a thing to walk with, hand in hand, 

Through the everydayness of this workday world.

-James Russell Lowell

To Be Continued


	7. Ch 6 I Love You, I Leave You

**Platonic Love – Chapter Six – I Love You, I Leave You**

**By Kilmeny**

**Disclaimers:** _Gundam__ Wing belongs to Sunrise.  Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them.  This story is not being used to make a profit._

**********

**Chapter Six – I Love You, I Leave You**

Once Duo had shut the door to his room, he put the crutches against the wall and peeled off his shirt and pants before falling back on his bed.  He felt clammy all over.  He stared at the ceiling, wishing he was able to pace the room without crutches.  It was unlike him to sit still when he was upset.  

Hilde loved him.  Hilde was leaving.  

This wasn't right.  But what could he do when she had already made up her mind?  There was no changing that girl's mind.  But how could he take care of her if she was away, and if he had hurt her beyond repair?  Surely though, he hadn't permanently broken her heart.  She would see that there was someone better for her than him.  But this didn't comfort him.  Right now she was hurting, and there was nothing he could do about it.  And if there was someone better for her . . . well, he wasn't too keen on meeting that person.

Why did she love him?  What did he have to offer her?  Despite his vow to take care of her, half the time she ended up taking care of him.  What woman wanted a man who was unsettled over nightmares, who left her periodically for dangerous missions, who was a disaster waiting to happen in the house, and who never knew when to keep his mouth shut, much less how to say the right thing?  All in all he was not the ideal man for her.  But neither was anyone else he knew.

As for his own feelings, he didn't know what to think.  He had never thought of Hilde as anything more than a friend or a sisterly figure to protect.  Well, that wasn't entirely true.  Sometimes her beauty and femininity became obvious enough to give him urges to treat her as something entirely different than a friend or a sister.  But he chalked that up to the inevitable effects of testosterone.

And then there was Lorelei . . . she was an amazing woman.  He had never met anyone like her, and she wanted him.  And he could really talk to her; she was witty and clever, confident, and absolutely gorgeous.  She had everything he had been searching for.  So right now he couldn't tell Hilde he loved her back—because there were too many other feelings he had that conflicted with that idea.  And he wouldn't lie to her, even if it meant that she'd feel better or that she would stay.

Rolling over, he clutched a pillow to him and tried to fall asleep.  It wouldn't hurt to try to convince her to stay.  Maybe he'd be fortunate enough to dissolve her stubbornness. 

**********

The next morning Duo quietly let Max out of Hilde's room so that he could "help" him fix her some breakfast.  As he wheeled to her room with Max happily traipsing along behind him, the prepared breakfast tray on his lap, he began to feel clammy again, and his heart was beating faster than usual.  He had no idea what to say to her.

With difficulty he maneuvered himself into her room and set the tray on her nightstand.  Max jumped on the bed and began to approach Hilde's sleeping form, but Duo held him back.  Mesmerized, he stared at the delicate features of her face, a face he probably wouldn't see sleeping again.  He was reminded of that day in the hospital.  Her color was better this time, but the solemn expression on her face was the same.  He wished her sleep at least could be peaceful.  Maybe if he spoke to her, the way he had in the hospital . . . 

"I'm not going anywhere, Hilde," he said softly, "I'll always be here to take care of you if you come back to me.  I'm still going to do everything I can to take care of you."  Heart pounding, he wondered what she would do if he kissed her, but he decided against this.  It wouldn't be fair to her . . . for a number of reasons.  

Max, however, was unable to restrain himself.  He crawled up to Hilde's face and licked her cheek, then nuzzled his cold, wet nose on her neck.  She made a sleepy noise as her eyes fluttered open.  Duo soon came into focus.  Quickly she sat up and pushed herself back against the headboard, as if she was trying to escape him.

Duo found himself blushing and unable to think of anything to say.  Finally, after an awkward silence and a miserable look from Hilde, he said, "I made you some breakfast."

She followed his gaze over to the nightstand and stared at her breakfast as she shifted uncomfortably.  "Thank you, Duo . . . but what is this all about?"

He went to pick up her hand but decided against this.  "Well, I guess I wanted to make you feel better and maybe talk about this some more."  With this, he placed the tray on her lap, searching her face in the same way Blake had done the night before.

Worriedly, Hilde asked, "Aren't you going to eat with me?"  She couldn't imagine trying to talk while he was watching her, much less while he was watching her eat.

"Oh, yeah!" he said hurriedly, wheeling out of the room to get his own tray.  He returned all too soon.

As they began eating, Duo said, "I've thought about what you told me, Hilde.  I- I care about you a lot, and I want you to stay here with me."

"I'm not in a position to reconsider," she deadpanned.

Duo's face fell.  "But _why_? Why are you being so stubborn?  I don't understand why you _have_ to leave me.  I vowed to protect and care for you, Hilde.  And I don't intend to break that vow.  How can I care for you if you leave me?"

"The best way to do that is to understand and let me go."

"But I can't understand—"

"We made another promise, remember?"

"Damn that promise!  We never expected _this_ to happen!"

Jaw jutting out, she firmly stated, "This is the best thing for the both of us."

Duo shook his head, looking at her sadly.  "How can it be if we're no longer friends?"

She sighed.  "Duo, we'll always be friends, and we'll still see each other at work and school.  As for you understanding this—I think you'll find out on your own, eventually."

Her reply was met with sullen silence but for a soft whimper from Max.  _It won't be the same, he thought, but didn't voice this as he knew it would hurt her, and it wasn't her fault anyway.  He stared down at his food in thought.  "When are you moving out?" he asked glumly._

"Tomorrow morning."

**********

Tomorrow morning came—along with Blake, a moving van, and some of Hilde's friends who came in and out of the house repeatedly to move her boxes.  Duo eventually emerged from his room and found himself face to face with Hilde, a box in her arms.  They stared at each other for a moment.

"I suppose you'd like me to help," he said.

"Not if you don't want to.  Besides, you're in no condition to be of much help.  I'm sorry if we're in your way," she turned her head and made her way down the hall.

"I want you in my way," he whispered when she was out of earshot.

He hobbled on his crutches to the front window, a sickening feeling in his stomach as he watched them load the van.  He turned and made his way to his office, closing the door and the blinds.

**********

Her room was completely bare now.  A shaft of light shone unfiltered through the window; the purple drapes no longer darkened the room.  She numbly watched the dust particles drift through the light until the sound of the truck door slamming startled her.  Then for one desperate moment, she imagined that the last three years she had spent here were a waste.  But if she had never met Duo, never lived part of her life with him, then who would she be now?  Smiling softly, she knew that the last three years had been a blessing, whatever else they might be.

Duo had locked himself in his office or had stayed in the garage nearly all day.  Did he even want to say "goodbye" to her?

"It looks like you're ready to head out."

She gasped quietly and turned around to see Duo leaning on his crutches in the doorway.  How long had he been watching her?

"I'm sorry I scared you."

"No, it's alright."  There was a pregnant pause in which they contemplated what they needed to say to one another.

"I was just thinking—" Hilde began.

"I'm really going to—" Duo said at the same time.  They both stopped and held their breath.  "Go ahead," he said, motioning to her encouragingly.

"I was just going to say that I was thinking about my last three years here and how much they meant to me."

"The best three years of my life," agreed Duo.  _Please stay_, his eyes implored.

For the first time in her life, she felt truly shy around Duo.  "You're not mad that I'm leaving, are you?"

"Upset? Yes.  Devastated? Yes.  Confused? Yes.  But I can't stay angry with you . . . not when I'm going to miss you so much . . . and Max, too; you better bring him to work with you every day."

She nodded, and heart beating rapidly, she said, "I want you to know that the reason I'm doing this is because I truly believe that it's the right thing for both of us.  I didn't plan on telling you my feelings, but I couldn't lie when you asked.  And so I just need you to realize that I never meant to make you feel bad or pressure you in any way."  She laughed nervously.  "I love you— and I can leave it at that.  You've done so much for me already; how could I ask for more?"

Heart grieved, he replied, "I- I don't even know what to think anymore."

She nodded again, then stepped toward him and kissed him quickly on the cheek, lowering her head to hide the tears that pricked her eyes.  "Well, goodbye then."

"Goodbye, Hilde," he said quietly, continuing to stare into her empty room as she made her way past him.  A moment later, he heard the screen door shut.  A blanket of emptiness and gloom settled over the house, and Duo turned and trudged through it to his bed, seeking what little haven he could in sleep.  But the thought kept running through his mind that now the most important part of his life was no longer part of his home.

**********

"Are you sure you can finish up on your own?" asked Blake, hands in his back pockets, towering in her new kitchen's doorway.

"Yes.  Thank you," Hilde assured him.

"Okay, well, call me if you need me.  Take care."  He smiled and let himself out of her apartment.

Max started sniffing at a bag of groceries she had set down at her feet.  "Just like Duo, you're always hungry," she said, scooping him up and carrying him around her apartment.  All of the large furniture was set up the way she wanted it, but the walls and shelves were empty of pictures or niceties.  She wondered whether she should put up any pictures of Duo.  _Or should I consider that part of my life as over?_

**********

"Duo, what's going on?  You've hardly talked to me the last three days, and I find out that Hilde's moved out.  What happened?"  Lorelei stood with her arms crossed, watching Duo as he leaned precariously over the open hood of a car, having temporarily abandoned his crutches.  

"It's a long story," he grunted, talking into the engine.

"I don't think you should be working on the cars in your condition."

"I'm not going to shirk my duties anymore just because of a stupid broken leg," he declared, taking up his crutches again to retrieve a tool he had forgotten at his workbench.  The truth of the matter was that he needed an outlet for the surge of emotions he had been experiencing recently.

"I really want to know what happened," said Lorelei, following him.

He sighed and stopped to look at her.  "She's in _love_ with me, Lorelei.  Does that satisfy your curiosity?"  He selected the needed tool and headed back to the car, leaving Lorelei blinking where she stood.  But soon she caught up with him and opened her mouth to speak again.

Duo cut her off.  "It's not an easy thing to handle, having your best friend totally change the friendship you had been so familiar with.  That's why I've been so distant lately.  I had a lot of things to think about."

"What- what did you tell her?"

He looked her carefully in the eye, answering, "That I didn't know what to say or how to feel.  I wanted her to stay, but she had it in her head that she should leave, for whatever reason.  And I had to let her . . . and now everything's different."

She looked down and said quietly, "This doesn't change anything between us, does it?"

He frowned.  "No."  Then he turned back to the car.

**********

_He was in a small glade.  The ground was sun-dappled and springy.  Ferns and other plant life covered the forest floor; it was beautiful.  He continued to look around, wondering why he was here.  "It's the perfect place for me to find the relaxation I've needed lately," he said.  He laid down on a patch of grass and crossed his arms behind his head.  A peaceful feeling settled over him as he watched the wind in the trees and the changing shapes of the clouds above him.  _

_"How did you find your way here?"_

_It was Hilde!  She was leaning over him with an unreadable expression, her hair falling in her face._

_He sat up.  "I thought you invited me here," he answered.  Why had he said that?  He didn't remember how he had arrived there, much less whether or not she had invited him.  But he had a feeling that she had._

_She drew back, looking a little confused.  Then she sat down in front of him, her feet tucked neatly beneath her.  Neither said anything or appeared to need to say anything.  _

_Hilde__ was making a crown of flowers for her hair.  He watched as her small and slender hands expertly threaded the flowers together.  She was humming to herself._

_Contentment swelled within his chest.  "I wish I had answered on your invitation sooner."_

_"What do you mean?" she asked, raising her face.  It was still emotionless.  "You haven't.  You're not here with me." Her voice was hollow, and suddenly his vision began to darken.  The glade, along with Hilde—everything—was beginning to fade from view.  _

_Panic took over.  At first he thought he was blind, but when he reached out to touch Hilde, she wasn't there.  The ground was now cold and wet; it was solid stone.  The air was thin.  His chest heaved as he tried to suck in air.  What did he have to do to get back to that place?_

_Or had he ever really been there?_

Immediately after this thought, the dim outlines of the furniture in his room came into view.  Sweat trickled across his temple as he blinked up at the ceiling, chest still heaving.  

It had been four weeks, four weeks of her avoiding him at work, four weeks of a constant stomachache, long nights visited by nightmares, and the drudgery of school and work.  The house was always empty when he came back to it.  The food he made was bland, and there was no one to share it with.  His bed was no longer a refuge.  Nothing was neat and tidy anymore, not even his thoughts.  In fact his thoughts were the worst.  But he didn't want to think about thinking now.

He had to talk to her.  He threw off his covers, prepared to go over to the vid-phone and call her when he realized that he didn't have her phone number.  He froze; a mixture of anger and panic swept over him.  She had never even given him her phone number or address.  In the tumult of her last couple days with him, he hadn't even thought to ask what apartment complex she had moved into.  _And she purposely avoided telling me, he thought, gritting his teeth.  The bed squeaked as he flopped back onto it.  __She's not going to get away with it though.  I'll follow her home if I have to._

**********

He who loves the more is the inferior and must suffer.      

-Thomas Mann

The females of all species are most dangerous when they appear to retreat.    

-Donald Robert Perry Marquis

**********

To Be Continued


	8. Ch 7 Realizations

**Platonic Love – Chapter Seven – Realizations**

**By Kilmeny**

**Disclaimers:** _Gundam__ Wing belongs to Sunrise.  Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them.  This story is not being used to make a profit._

**********

**Chapter Seven – Realizations**

She had felt his eyes on her for the last hour.  He was much more mobile now, too, since his cast had just been removed.  This enabled him to easily move to an area where he could always keep his eyes on her.  Needless to say, it all made her feel . . . well, just _feel_.  And she didn't think he was trying to hide it either, so maybe he wanted to talk to her.

After washing the grease off her hands that she had accumulated during the work day, she went into her office and gathered her things.  Well, if he wanted to talk, then she would go over to him right now and see what the heck he wanted.  

Yet when she came out of her office, he was no longer around.  "Strange," she murmured, then stepped outside to begin her walk home.  She grimaced when she saw how dark it had become.  She shouldn't have worked so late—there were some dodgy-looking men who lived in her apartment complex, and they liked to loiter outside at night.  Several times they had leered at her or made nasty remarks.  She only felt safe in her neighborhood if it was daylight or if she was locked in her apartment.

That's why today she had decided to carry her gun.  She could feel its weight in her purse; the feeling wasn't as safe as when she had a male escort, but it was better than nothing.  She knew how to protect herself.

At the corner of her apartment complex, she spotted one of her neighbors leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette.  There was no one else around.  He dropped the cigarette as she passed and fell into step beside her.

"So, why are you alone like this on a Friday night?" he asked.

She tossed her hair out of her eyes and quickened her pace.  His long legs had no problem matching her strides.  She debated whether to answer him or stay focused on getting to her apartment.  But suddenly he grabbed her arm.  Before she could wrench it free, he had dragged her into an alley between two apartment buildings.

"Let go of me!"

He clamped a hand over her mouth and attempted to trap her between his body and the wall.  She twisted free and pulled her gun out just as he brought his up.  She stared at him in shock; he narrowed his eyes.

The sound of running footsteps registered in her mind before she saw her attacker fall to the ground from a well-placed kick in the head.  She gasped, gaping at his unconscious body on the pavement.

"You little idiot," said Duo gruffly, stepping toward her, but he cried out and grabbed his leg, his knees buckling.

"Duo!" cried Hilde, rushing to him where he kneeled on the ground, grunting in pain.  "You're the idiot!" she exclaimed, "straining yourself when you've just gotten off your crutches!"  She helped him up while saying this, then— "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!  It's you I'm worried about!  Why'd you move into such a foul neighborhood?  That guy could have- he was going to-" He made a disgusted noise.  "If you would just be sensible and-"

"Look, Duo, it's all I could afford!  Now are you going to come inside or not?  I assume you have something you need to talk to me about?"

"Yeah, come on," he said, placing a protective hand on her back as she led him to her apartment.

Max went crazy at the sight of his two favorite people, jumping against Duo's leg several times.  "Ow! Woah there, buddy," he said, crouching to pet and calm the dog.

"Go ahead and get off that leg," said Hilde from her kitchen, "would you like anything to drink?"

"Water would be fine," he said, then made himself comfortable on the couch with Max's head on his lap.

Hilde leaned against the sink, finally able to catch her breath.  She had put on a good tough act in front of Duo just now.  Her heart was still threatening to burst from her chest.  Why was he here?  Why couldn't he leave her alone?  "I can't do this; it's too soon," she whispered, her eyes wet.  She took a couple deep breaths to calm herself, then brought their waters into the living room.

She didn't sit on the couch next to him, but on the recliner instead.  Duo studied her face, the same face he saw every night in his dreams.  How could he say what he had come to say?  "Hilde, everything's different without you.  I know you think that I'll come to believe this is the best thing for us, but I can't!  It all feels so wrong . . . and it's not safe here.  Won't you please come back home?"

"I can't . . . look, you shouldn't even be here.  I never wanted you to come here."

"But you know it's not safe!  I have to protect you!"

"No, you don't," she said slowly, "I can take care of myself fine."

"Do you call what happened tonight 'taking care of yourself!?'"

Hilde glared at him.  Surprisingly, he backed down.  "Can't I even come and visit you?  We're supposed to be friends . . . look, I even brought your favorite movie."  He began to pull it out of his bag, but Hilde shot to her feet.

"No," she said, "It's- too soon."  

His gaze swept over her.  That same strange look was in her eyes, and her hands were balled into fists at her sides.  Slowly, he rose to his feet and came to stand before her.  He gently lifted a hand and touched her cheek.  Her breath stopped short.  Then his arms were around her, and he held her close to him, one hand in her hair.  "Hilde, I dream about you every night.  I miss you so much."  He felt her shoulders jerk.

"What do you want from me?" she asked miserably.

He stroked her hair.  "I just want to take care of you, make sure you're happy and safe."

"I don't need you for that anymore.  I need you to leave me be.  I've been fine here.  My friends often come to visit, and I know how to protect myself."

With every word she said Duo felt pain, perhaps some of the pain she had been feeling.  He pulled away and lifted her head to look in her eyes.  She held his gaze determinedly.  "You don't-? No. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't need me anymore."

"Duo . . ." but he refused to relent.  "I don't need you, Duo," she said, looking straight in his eyes.

Like a child experiencing his first disappointment, he released her and stepped back, a hurt expression on his face.  Silently he turned and picked up his bag, giving Max a pat on the head.  At the door, he turned and looked back at her.  

"Duo," she said, "I'm sorry for lying when I said we'd still be friends . . . for now, I can't handle being with you on anything more than a business level."

He barely nodded and turned to let himself out.  "Make sure you lock the door behind me," he muttered.  When he had closed the door, he leaned for a moment against it, heard her slide the lock in place, and tried to gather his thoughts, but nothing made sense anymore.

Hilde rested her hand on the closed door, relieved but unsettled.  Max stepped forward and snuffled against her hand.  "Come on, Max, let's go to bed."

**********

On the walk home, Duo began to experience something akin to panic.  Because of her cursed stubbornness, nothing would work.  Nothing was going to bring her back home.  Clearly, she was determined to move on with her life.  So should he concede and move on with his?  Or should he continue to fight?  But anymore, he wasn't so sure what he was fighting for.

Wanting an answer, he finally began to listen to the little voice in the back of his head.  _Think of Hilde, it said, S_top being selfish and thinking of how miserable your life has been lately and think of her.  Look how you hurt her every time you try to convince her to stay with you.  Don't you realize what you've done?__

He stopped walking.  For the first time since Hilde's confession, he began to feel what he should have from the beginning, something incomparable to everything he had been feeling so far.  And he had been beaten, received several punches in the gut, seen unspeakable things, but nothing from his past could compare to it either.  Nothing could have prepared him for this feeling, that indescribable feeling that came from breaking the heart of the woman he loved.  For he _did love her, but he never thought that the kind of love he offered wouldn't be good enough for her.  She wanted something that he couldn't give, didn't know how to give.  The reasons he couldn't were all too confusing to understand.  _

It hurt him to hurt her like this.  Just like that dream—she had given him a gift, but he hadn't been able to give the same thing back to her.  And because he couldn't offer the same thing, he couldn't keep her gift.  He had broken it, broken her heart, and he would never be able to forgive himself.

**********

And so Duo did everything he could to keep from causing Hilde anymore pain; he avoided her at all costs.  Since that night, the incomparable ache in his chest remained.  His house morphed into a chaotic jumble of paperwork, dishes, clothes, and grime.  Looking in the mirror one morning, he was taken aback by the strange look of his eyes.  Where once his smile lines stood out, the bags under his eyes were now the most prominent features.  He was someone he didn't want to be anymore.

Before she called to him, he heard Lorelei's high heels clacking on the kitchen floor.  Sighing, he knew it was time.

He went into the living room and began to pick some pizza boxes up off the coffee table, muttering under his breath about the pigsty he lived in.

"Well, actually, that has something to do with what I wanted to talk to you about," said Lorelei, overhearing him.

"Oh," said Duo, turning around, "Yeah, I'm sorry about it being such a mess."

"You see, that's why I think you need a housemate again, someone who can help you keep this place cleaned up, someone who can keep you company when you can't sleep at night.  I know you haven't been sleeping well for quite some time."  Duo watched her bemusedly as she came and put her arms around him, a small smirk on her lips.

"Lorelei," he said slowly, "It's not just my house that's a mess.  _I'm a mess.  The last thing I need is for us to get more serious."_

"But we-"

He turned his head, not looking at her as he muttered, "You can't replace Hilde."  At her intake of breath, he slid her arms off his neck and clasped her hands in his, looking at her directly.  "I can't give you what you want anymore, Lorelei, and you moving in is not going to change that.  For the past three years I've been in and out of relationships because I've never been ready to commit.  And although I think you're really special, it can't go on any further than this.  I mean, have I really been what you're looking for these past few months?  I'm a _terrible_ boyfriend."

A frown creased her forehead.  "But I don't think you're terrible.  Duo, I've never met anyone like you.  We've had so many good times together, so why can't it last?"

"I don't- _love_ you, Lorelei.  And I'm not fit to be in a relationship right now anyway.  I have too many other issues I need to deal with first.  It's not fair to you to continue to pretend that this is going to work."

She pulled her hands out of his, saying somewhat bitterly, "You're not who I thought you were . . . I thought you were someone who dived into life and never held anything back, but truly you've been holding yourself back this entire time."  She shook her head disbelievingly, a wry smile on her lips.  "Duo, you've been holding back your _heart_.  And that's the reason the passion I thought you had doesn't really exist in you."  All of this was said in a very emotional tone that made Duo feel even more uncomfortable, then her voice went flat, which didn't bode well either.  "What's life if you don't put your heart into it?"  Before he could respond, she made as if to leave.

"Lorelei-" 

But her purse was already slung over her shoulders, and her hand was on the doorknob, her back to him.  "You don't have to answer to me, but you do owe it to yourself to think on it for a while."  She opened the door.  "Maybe I'll see you around school sometime."

After she shut the door, Duo groaned softly and ran his hand through his hair.  He was officially alone now, but at least he was being true to Lorelei and to himself.

**********

_"What's life if you don't put your heart into it?"_  The question and its implications continued to run through his mind over the next week.  In the shower one evening, he let the refreshing water cascade over his face and leaned with one hand on the wall in front of him.  He felt exhausted with all of the changes in his life, and he was tired of thinking these thoughts, but he felt it was time to finally confront them.  All this time he had thought he had one up on Heero, Trowa, and Wufei.  Unlike them, he had always been able to let his feelings out in the open.  But Lorelei was right; it didn't mean that he was really any different than them.  He had still been affected by the events of his past.  He still struggled with allowing himself to be vulnerable.  And he most definitely was holding something back—his heart.  Her words had only confirmed that this was the reason he had broken Hilde's heart, the reason he hadn't been able to love her back.  He was so selfish.  It wasn't as if Hilde didn't have a similarly painful past.

During the war he had given his all to protect the colonies; he had put his heart into everything he did.  But since then, his feeling of purpose had come from somewhere else.  It must not have been work or school or play because he had that right now and he wasn't happy.  Every happy memory he'd had since the war had been shared with Hilde.  The key to this whole mess had to be Hilde.

Licking the water off his lips, he remembered kissing her that day by the gazebo.  He couldn't imagine sharing that moment with anyone else, and he realized how thrilled he was to be her first kiss.  He had been the one to make sure that she experienced a first kiss the right way, sweetly and innocently.  He wanted to be the one to share the rest of her sweet moments.  His purpose was found not only in protecting her, but sharing life with her.  For who was better to share it with than her—someone so vibrant when she danced, loud when she laughed, animated when she talked, and honest when she finally broke down and cried.

The loneliness that consequently settled over him gave his thoughts a newfound clarity.  Abruptly he found that his life was flashing before his eyes as it would a man on the brink of death, except he was on the brink of a discovery.  A kaleidoscope had been put up to his eyes, and it spun, revealing images from his childhood, then the smoke billowing over a battlefield, Hilde covered in bandages lying in a white room on a white bed; everything was white.  Then there was color again, the red of Heero's blood as he pulled himself off an examining table, the army green of a hundred mobile suits surrounding him, the burnished gold of a field of wheat from his dreams, and then the blackness of Deathscythe looming before him, toppling down on him, until he saw only the inky blackness of space sprinkled with the pinpricks of stars billions of miles a way.  That's how far Hilde felt from him.  He was supposed to be with her, the way he was with her as she lay in the white hospital bed.  The creaminess of her skin, the blue depths of her eyes, the black of her hair, like the blackness of space.  He remembered it all now in startling, vivid, blessed detail.  He hadn't been near to her for weeks, but he could picture her now as if she was less than an arm's length away from him.

He sighed and opened his eyes, realizing that the water was now icy cold.  Shivering, he turned it off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and drying his hair.  He wondered if it was too late now to confess to her and himself that he was in love with her.  Was it too late to present her with the same thing with which she had presented him?  But he wasn't an optimist for nothing.  _It's never too late to dive in_, he thought, psyching himself up as he looked in the mirror.  And even if she didn't accept his apology or rejoice in his confession, he owed it to her.  And he owed it to himself to finally let go and make himself vulnerable again.  

**********

Max snuggled closer into Hilde's side for his Saturday afternoon nap.  Hilde herself was indulging in a quick doze, one arm flung carelessly across her forehead, the other dangling off the side of the couch.  She had spent the entire morning cleaning her apartment and working on a project for school.  Just as the haze of sleep was beginning to tug at her consciousness, her doorbell rang.  It was probably one of her girlfriends wanting to talk, she thought as she reluctantly rolled off the couch, Max scurrying out of her way.  Usually she'd be glad for company, but today she just wanted quiet.

Unfortunately, it looked as if quiet was going to be far out of her reach today, since the person standing in her doorway had never lived a quiet day in his life.  Oddly, she wasn't surprised to find herself face to face with Duo.  No, this time she was angry.  "What do you want?"

Every detail of her face was exactly as he had envisioned it last night.  She was just as beautiful.  But though she truly did stand less than an arm's length in front of him this time, her demeanor indicated she remained as far away as she had been.  Nonetheless, his heart quickened its beat in response to her physical closeness.  "I only want you to listen to two things I have to say."

Those eyes . . . those deep violet eyes that had pleaded with her so many times before, now shone down at her again.  Hilde's heart skipped a little; there was something different in his eyes today, something that unexpectedly gave her hope.  That would be the only explanation for why she was now ushering him into the room.  Stubbornly, she kept her angry expression.

Duo stepped forward a few paces, loosening the collar of his shirt before turning around.  Her arms were crossed, whether to protect herself or to discourage him, he didn't know.  Unheeding, he strode back over to her with a wide-eyed expression that must have seemed strange to the unwitting Hilde.  "Hilde, I-"  Before she could step back from his abrupt advance, he took her hands in his and proclaimed, "I've been so selfish, and I've hurt you so much, and-"  He looked down at her pale hands in his dark ones.  "So the first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry for, well, for everything.  Can you please forgive me?"  

His eyes returned to hers, so soft; it would be so easy to . . . no, this was just like all of his other apologies, like when he didn't pick up after himself, or when he forgot to bring home groceries, or when he broke . . . something.  She firmly pulled her hands out of his grasp.  It wasn't that she didn't want to forgive him; she already had, but- "Duo, I don't know why you thought you needed to come over here just to-"  She stopped short and gaped down at him, yes, down at him, because now he was kneeling before her.  She was so enthralled, not just by his position, but by his humble bearing as well, that she allowed him to take her hands again.  

She watched with wide eyes as he bent his head and tenderly kissed one of her hands, then leaned back to look up at her and say, "Please don't act as if I haven't done anything to you.  Because I have, I've been selfish and inconsiderate throughout this entire ordeal," he paused and bowed his head against her hands.  Her wonder continued as she barely heard him murmur in a voice thick with emotion, "I never once stopped to consider, well-"  But he broke off there and didn't look up at her again.

Shakily, she dropped to her knees in front of him and brought up a hand to brush her fingers against his temple.  Her look was thoughtful, he saw when he raised his eyes.  He let out a breath.

"I forgive you," she said softly, feeling how wonderful it was to share a warm, real moment with Duo again.

He gave her a lopsided smile.  Oh, it had been so long since she'd seen one of those!  And then he uttered the most amazing words!  "That's good, because the other thing I have to say is—wow, I feel like I've been waiting my entire life to say this—I love you, Hilde."

This time she let out a breath, closing her eyes.  He figured now would be as good a time as any to do what he'd been wanting to since seeing those softly parted lips today.  One arm snaked quickly around her waist and brought her tightly to him; the other lifted his hand into her hair and behind her neck before his lips met hers, surely, determinedly.

She made a surprised sound in the back of her throat, which only caused Duo to hold her more closely, and felt grateful that she was already kneeling, for she was sure that otherwise her knees would have buckled beneath her.  Even so, she clung to his arms to steady herself, happily kissing him back.

When they broke apart for air, both were equally in wonder and wore identical, foolish smiles.  Duo said, "Hilde-babe—geez, it's been a long time since I called you that—I've missed you so much.  These last months have been _agony not being able to talk to you or have anything be the way it used to be."_

"I know," she answered, "but do you understand now why this was the best thing for us?  I feel like I've really grown during our time apart.  I got some of my priorities straight—I've been focused on school and where my life is going."  He nodded in understanding, gazing thoughtfully at her.  Then shyly she asked, "Is it really true that you-?"  
  


"Of course it is!"

Hilde laughed, "But it took you so long to figure it out!"

His smile turned sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck.  "You see, that's why this has been good for me.  If you hadn't've left, then I don't know if I'd have ever-"  He shook his head.  "Damn! I am _such an idiot!"  He laughed with Hilde though, no longer caring.  Then he rose and helped her up, kissed her again, more thoroughly this time, and ordered her to show him around her apartment.  She laughed again, took his hand, and led him through her home with Max padding happily along behind them.    _

**********

The big question in life is the unhappiness one has caused; . . . the most ingenuous rationalizations will not help the man who has broken the heart he loved.     

-Benjamin Constant

Love, like electricity or revolution or becoming, is a process (not a thing). 

-Al Young

**********

To Be Continued


	9. Epi New Visions

**Platonic Love – Epilogue – New Visions**

**By Kilmeny**

**Disclaimers:** _Gundam__ Wing belongs to Sunrise.  Any songs or quotes belong to their authors listed with them.  This story is not being used to make a profit._

**********

**Epilogue – New Visions**

Light from the TV flickered over Hilde's sleeping face.  Duo watched her contentedly; she was cradled against his shoulder, her left hand curled against his stomach.  She wasn't the only one who slept peacefully now; Duo's nightmares had finally stopped, too.  He had found that forest glade again, and Hilde reigned ever as queen there with her crown of flowers, a smile gracing her once expressionless face.  Presently, the image of Queen Hilde faded from his mind, and he began again to drink in the sight of the real Hilde lying in his arms.  His gaze now rested on that left hand, specifically on her bare ring finger.  One corner of his mouth lifted into a lazy smile as he thought about his future.  He could almost smell pancake breakfasts in the kitchen, could almost see Hilde and him decorating their Christmas tree, and could almost hear their children's playful voices echoing down the hall.  This and more he would have with Hilde.  Resolutely he had decided that if she was going to come back to stay, then she was going to enter this home as his wife and lifelong companion.

He turned off the TV only to have it bounce on again with the face of Chang Wufei.  He jumped a little in surprise and felt Hilde stir against him, opening her eyes to look up blearily at Wufei.

"What is it, Wufei?" asked Duo.

"Lady Une has another mission for you if you'd like to take it," Wufei informed them.

"I'd love to," said Duo, looking over at Hilde when she pulled away and sat up straighter.

"Wha-?" she said sleepily, then more alertly, "What do you mean, you're already deciding?"

Seemingly ignoring her, Duo turned back to Wufei.  "Tell Lady Une I'll only do it on one condition—Hilde goes with me."  Casually, he put his arm back around her shoulders, a confident look on his face.  

She stared blankly at him, then looked at Wufei as he agreed to pass on the information and hung up.  Turning her head, she stared at Duo again.  "Did you just-?"  Unsuccessfully, she tried to keep from smiling.  Duo smiled smugly.  "How did you _know I wanted to go?  I've been wanting to go with you for the last three years!"_

He laughed, "Well, I didn't know _that, but I figured I'd see how you'd react."_

"Thank you, Duo," she said, hugging him and giggling.  When she pulled back, she checked her watch and said, "Oh, we've got to be at the club in a bit for Kira's birthday party.  I brought a few outfits over to choose from, so I'm going to go change."  She began to get up, but was hindered by Duo's arm, which had suddenly clamped around her waist.  She soon found herself practically in his lap.  "Duo!" she nearly shrieked.

"Relax, there's just something I wanted to ask you before we leave."  He took her left hand in his, a twinkle in his eye and a roguish grin on his lips.  Hilde looked at him expectantly.  "Can I dirty dance with you tonight?" he asked after a suitably long, suspecting pause.

"Duo!" she groaned, bopping him over the head.

"I was just kidding!" he exclaimed, laughing at the look on her face.  "No, no, but seriously, that wasn't it," he said, suppressing a grin and taking her hand again.  "What I meant to say is—you can't expect me to do this seriously—okay, okay . . . Hilde, will you marry me?  Wait! Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I've been thinking about this a lot, and I've never been more sure of anything in my life.  I mean, we've already taken care of each other for three years, why not 63 more- or more if we live longer!  So anyway, what do you say, Hilde-babe?"

During this speech, her stern look had vanished and been gradually replaced by a dazzling smile, which had grown wider as his nervousness became more apparent.  When he finally allowed her to have her say, at first she only laughed and threw her arms around his neck, smothering him with kisses.  But just to make sure her answer was perfectly clear—"Of course I will, you idiot!"

His arms around her waist, he laughed and fell back on the couch, then slowed her attack by kissing her on the mouth.  She sighed happily against his lips, eventually pulling away to smile down on him.  

"Here," said Duo, digging in his pocket to pull out the ring box, "I _did_ get you a ring."

He sat up and put the ring on her finger, Hilde declaring how beautiful it was the entire time.  "I have to get ready now, but—" she placed both hands on either side of his face and kissed him one more time on the mouth, "I love you so much, and I will be right back."  With that, she hopped up and literally half-ran, half-skipped to her room.

He watched her then fell back on the couch again and sighed blissfully.  While staring up at the ceiling with unseeing eyes, Max came to stand next to his head and began to lick his dazed face.  Duo blinked several times.  "Duo! I need you!" called Hilde from her bedroom.  He reached up and grabbed Max's muzzle mid-lick, his tongue stuck halfway out of his mouth.

"What is it this time?" he yelled, rising from the couch and releasing the bloodhound.  Max barked, his ears perking forward.

"I can't find anything to wear!"

Duo gave Max a significant look.  "We're coming," he answered.  Dutifully, both boys ran down the hall to the aid of their lady, ready to protect her from all manner of evil fashion.  Soon more laughter could be heard from the bedroom, and with this welcome intrusion of sound, the house could be said to have officially turned back into a home.

**********

The End

Began October 2002

Finished January 2004

**Author's Note: **Sad, isn't it, that it took me so long to write something only about 50 pages?  Oh, well.  Anyway, I'm not sure what's coming up next.  Technically, I should write Quatre's story because it comes next chronologically.  Either that, or Heero's, so give me some feedback and I'll consider it.  Thanks so much for reading.  I hope you enjoyed it, and please review.  If you haven't read "Trust in Me" yet, it comes right after this story and has a few Duo and Hilde moments, so check it out.****


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